Categories
Connecting

Backchannel note to Mark Pilgrim

I wasn’t going to talk about backchannels, except I wanted to address a comment directly to Mark Pilgrim. I would send him an email, but he disregards them, and he doesn’t have comments.

Mark, labeling people’s comments as hysterical because you don’t agree with them– or more likely because we’re part of a group of people who have offended you in the past–is getting tiresome.

I don’t have scores of fans who will defend me, Mark, I have to do it on my own. But each time you play this game, you have fans of yours who say some pretty hateful and very personal things about me that I’m finding harder to shake off, with each iteration.

I am not afraid to fight my own battles, but I can’t do it when the words are whispered behind hands or closed doors, I can’t block against snipes and innuendo.

If you disagree with what I wrote, then disagree with the words. Please! I welcome it! Disagree with my use of the term ‘fucking rude’? Well say so. And I’d probably agree with you – I shouldn’t have used it when ‘rude’ would do. Disagree that backdoor backchannels are rude? Then say so, and we’ll debate. Or not.

If I have been dismissive or cruel to others in the past, then point out the instances, and I’ll probably agree and offer humble apologies. I have not been above pettiness in the past. But let’s deal with this directly–no more ‘backchannel’ slaps.

When you dismissively label what I write with terms like ‘hysterical’, or make fun of me rather than address what I’m writing, all you’re doing is cutting at me, Mark, not my words. Some people might enjoy this – I’m not one of them. I like a good debate, but no one likes to be belittled.

If you can’t give me the courtesy two adults owe each other, Mark, then give me your silence, and just ignore me.

Categories
Art Media Writing

Mockingbird Live!

Long ago, I begged Aquarionics, otherwise known as the sexiest voice in weblogging to record my Mockingbird’s Wish.

Well, I’m happy to say that he’s started, and has already posted outtakes from his first efforts, which are exceedingly entertaining. And a very nice and welcome surprise for me today.

Read the tale, listen to the recording.

Categories
Connecting

Small world

We’re so used to thinking of each other as pages on a computer screen that it catches at me when I read something like Doug Alder’s current post containing photos of his hometown of Rossland in British Columbia.

I grew up less than 50 miles from the town he describes. Down from the mountains, on the other side of the border, and along the river valley. This is actually a pretty amazing coincidence when you realize how remote our respective homes are, and how sparsely populated the area is. Or was.

When my parents first separated, I was quite young. My mother had a boyfriend who owned a large store in Doug’s area and she used to go visit him for a few days at a time. He’d always bring my brother and I Canadian chocolate bars because, as I remember him saying, they were …better than the American Hershey’s.

I wish I could remember his name. I wonder if he’s still alive, and if Doug knows him?

Small world.

Categories
Connecting

Question as to perceived hostility

Recovered from the Wayback Machine.

I’ve been posting comments over in Jeff Jarvis’ space, primarily as a way of learning to not get offended, because if you say something someone doesn’t agree with there, you will get blasted.

In addition, Jarvis does attract some very interesting people who have much good to say, but if you make an idiot comment, these types will ignore you. So, I’ve been in ‘training’ so to speak in how to make comments that engage the more intelligent responder, while learning not to react to the people cruisen’ for a fight.

Interesting thread today on the TypeKey issue in which Jarvis felt that my comment was rude and hostile. To be honest, I didn’t see it as such. If anything, I was frustrated because I’ve felt for some time now that he doesn’t respond to what I write but will respond to other people, instead, and then use this as an indirect response to me.

Maybe I was rude, but hostile and nasty? Hmmm.

So my question is to you to review the comments, and let me know – did you perceive my response to Jarvis as hostile, rude, and nasty? If so, why? If not, why not? Glenn Fleishman seems to agree with Jarvis, but then, they also seem to know each other.

Is that also a factor in perception? How much we seem to ‘know’ the other person, or how much we value them?

Finally, and this is a sensitive one – does gender influence this perception? After all, aren’t girls supposed to be sugar and spice and everything nice. Is a critical comment given by a woman perceived to be more negative than the same type of comment given by a man?

And please be honest. Sigh, knowing my readers, I know you will be.

Categories
Connecting

And Mary is a meter maid

I watched a news item yesterday on television that Hollywood is now scrambling for more religious movies, based on the success of Mel Gibson’s Passion. One person said that religion is suddenly “in”, not to mention “hip”, and we’ll being seeing more obvious displays of Christianity in the future.

Personally, I hadn’t noticed that much of an increase, myself.

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