I took that Belief-o-Matic test that’s supposed to tell you the religious system that best suits you.
After finishing the test I waited for the results. And waited. And waited. Finally a simple plain white web page opened, and in the middle of the page I read the following words:
I reached a place where every light is muted,
which bellows like the sea beneath a tempest,
when it is battered by opposing winds.
The hellish hurricane, which never rests,
drives on the spirits with its violence:
wheeling and pounding, it harasses them.
The soul falls headlong, down into this cistern;
and up above, perhaps, there still appears
the body of the shade that winters here.*
As I puzzled over the results, a beating sound started coming from my computer and my monitor started slowing spinning. I was amazed since I was using a laptop and the monitor doesn’t spin.
Faster went the monitor, louder was the beating, smoke poured from the machine until all of a sudden the monitor stopped spinning and displayed
The Blue Screen of Death
And then my machine died. A melted plastic blob, still faintly smoking. In the air, the subtle scent of burnt plastic mixed in with overripe ocean and rotten eggs.
Luckily I had this backup machine so I could post to my weblog. Unfortunately, I don’t have any results from the test to post.