Categories
Just Shelley

Just stuff

I am going to take a timeout from writing about technology and lists and weblogging and “____women_____” (fill blanks with relevant info), to write about, well, stuff that isn’t technology, lists, weblogging, and not necessarily women, in general, but woman, which is me. As such, this will be a quiet post, littered with photographs, most of which will probably have you scratching your head and going “Huh. Why did she post that one?”

 

I was working at my other computer, the PC one, at my desk when I took a break to catch up with email and weblog posts. I had a couple of nice emails from people talking about trips and family, and read some nice weblog posts, none of which had anything to do with technology, lists, or weblogging, though some of the people were women, so I guess that means I’m fudging my self-imposed filter for this one post.

Jeff from This Public Address got married last week, so congratulations out to Jeff and Krista. Jeff also finally had a chance to see the Museum of Spam. Getting married is one thing, but the Museum of Spam–hey, that’s something.

Jeneane celebrated her nineteenth year wedding anniversary! According to a guide I found, this is the aquamarine wedding anniversary. This beats heck out of the tenth anniversary, which is tin, so congratulations to George and Jeneane for passing tin and making it to aquamarine.

passing tin — that’s a phrase not likely to come up every day.

Don at Hands in the Dirt writes about his garden, and sometimes I wish he would post photos of his plants, but then, he does a good job drawing them for you with words. We share virtually the same weather, which means the summer for both of us this year has been: hot, humid, no rain, and ozone alerts.

Speaking of which, most of Missouri has just been declared a disaster area because of the drought. Funny how quietly that snuck up. We focus on weather that is destructive, such as with hurricanes and floods, yet hardly any notice is paid to a drought. Droughts, though, are the disasters that will impact on everyone. Especially when corn and soybean rich areas like Missouri and Illinois get hit so hard. People will starve in Africa because we had a drought.

Andrea posted photos, of her neighborhood with a story to go with each, which I found rather nice. Especially the one pic, with “Stick it up your Arse, Candy!” I adore Australian lingo. Arse, arse, arse. So very lovely, and earthy sounding. Arse, arse, arse. Arse.

It’s Roger Benningfield’s birthday today. Send him a note, and tell the ole arse, “Happy Birthday!”

I’m not sure if it was Andrea’s pictures, or Ewan’s comment about photos in my post, but suddenly I was struck by a desire to see photos from people’s homes and neighborhoods. We post pictures of this trip or that, or conferences, or special flowers and walks, but we rarely post pictures of the ordinary and everyday life that surrounds us. I suppose we don’t because it is so ordinary and everyday, and think to ourselves: why on earth would anyone want to see photos of a toaster? After all, these types of photos are just the type of thing that gave bloggers a bad name years ago, when we were trying to establish our ‘credibility’.

All the more reason, then, to post photos of your toaster. Better yet, your arse reflected in your toaster. Now that’s a mental image to take with one to the grave.

I hadn’t been out for a couple of weeks to walk or take pictures, and I have been feeling it, I can tell you. Inspired, or perhaps touched would be a better term, yesterday I grabbed my camera and started taking pictures around me. Nothing was too trivial to photograph, though luckily for you, most were too trivial to post. Even for a mad woman.

For instance, following is my print of the John Everett Millais painting, Ophelia. One can call my Ophelia many things, but not trivial. I must confess that I love Pre-Raphaelite art; in addition to the Millais, I also have a print of John William Waterhouse, The Lady of Shalott.

Though the picture may not do it justice, the frame on the Ophelia print is custom made, and my last truly costly expenditure outside of my car. If I only knew then, what I know now… But these prints aren’t just any old prints–I carried them back with me in a protective tube after my one and only visit to London during Easter holidays, in 2001. I picked them up at the Tate, the actual Tate, where I spent several hours before heading back to the hotel to pack for the trip home. Every time I look at them, I’m reminded of London, and the delight I experienced every second of that trip. I was delighted even when I was asleep. I slept happy, until the French maid entered the room early the next morning because I had forgotten to put out the Do Not Disturb sign. Still–disturbed by a French Maid. I felt like I was in an Agatha Christie novel.

Arse!

Next to the bed is the desk with my Dell laptop. Currently, it’s a dual boot: Windows 2000 and Ubuntu Linux. I imagine that when Vista comes out, Microsoft will no longer provide updates for 2000. At that time I’ll have to decide whether to keep a Windows machine or go straight Linux.

It doesn’t show in the picture, but the chair for the desk is on wheels, and swivels about. It’s upholstered on the back and seat, and an old brown towel covers the top. The reason for the towel is that Zoë likes to get up on the chair back, at the very top, and claw for all she’s worth. I will have to confess that sometimes when she’s particularly sweet, I’ll accidentally ‘knock’ the towel off, and she’ll take a run and jump up to the top and start in. I’ll grab the chair and start turning it around, real fast. As it turns, she’ll stop clawing, and hunker down, absolute joy writ large across her cute, pussy face. When I stop, she starts clawing again, demonically! until I start spinning her again. We could do this for hours.

It’s my roommate’s chair. He lent it to me. Zoë and I don’t do this when he’s home. I’ll buy him a new chair someday.

When I started taking pictures, I did not clean up first, so the shot of the bed is what it was when I started taking pictures: covered with file folders and a feather duster. I’ve been working on filing taxes and cleaning up my paper work, which accounts for the folders. I’d also been dusting the stereo, hence the duster. Any pun from the juxtaposition of the two was purly unintentional.

Isn’t this a boring post? Oh, not the people I reference–they’re interesting. But then, they’re not showing you pictures of their feather dusters, either. Or their favorite work chair.

My bedroom is my office is my sitting room, so I spend most of my time in the room. I have a very comfortable recliner in the corner and I do a lot of my work on the Mac in this chair–as you can see from the picture. The chair swivels so I can turn around and look out the window. We’re an end unit and I have the corner bedroom. Therefore, I have a corner office with a window. I have arrived.

Remember that boys and girls. Everything is relative.

Next to the chair is a table with folding sides, and on the other side of that the wall length double closet. It has built in shelves along the top and the side, which gives me a lot of places to put things. There’s also enough space between the sliding doors for two side by side skinny wire bookshelves.

I keep my current books and CDs on this, as well as other odds and ends. If you look at the books, what you’ll see are ones on computer technology, web technology (hey Danny), photography, writing, hiking, and history. There’s also some fictional books, though they’re not as easy to see. The CDs hold photos, software, and music. I hadn’t planned this, but these two small shelves could tell anyone who is interested a great deal about me.

Just goes to show that we are defined not by the fancy stuff we own, but by the everyday mess around us. This includes rich people like Bill Gates. You could learn a lot about Bill Gates by going through his bedroom drawers. I bet even rich people have at least one pair of socks with a hole in the toe.

Still in a picture mood, when the roommate got home yesterday, I grabbed the car keys and headed to Forest Park. It was miserable weather — hot, humid, and the air quality makes your eyes hurt. I didn’t care, though. I had to get out of the house.

I was going to walk around the lake but the zoo was still open. See that’s what I love about St. Louis — all these parks and things and most don’t charge a penny. I only had about two hours closing time at the Zoo, but since I didn’t have to pay, I didn’t have to worry about “getting my money’s worth”.

The zoo was almost deserted and I headed for the Penguin and Puffin exhibit, with its 45 degree temperatures. I spent about an hour in the exhibit, enjoying having the place mostly to myself, except for the park attendents. The St. Louis zoo is rated the number one family friendly zoo in the US because the exhibits are so close and personal. But because of this, the zoo has to have people stand by most of the enclosures to keep visitors from disturbing the animals. Though this lovely penguin grooming its feathers didn’t seem to mind.

I was taking photos at the Puffin exhibit when a couple of women with some kids came through. None of the kids was under 12, and one went up to the Puffin glass right by me, stuck his hand in the water and started splashing it at the birds. I told him to stop. He was startled and did stop, and I rather expected his Mom to say something to him or me, but she didn’t. It irks me to see parents not putting controls on their kids at the zoo. Do you let your kids tease and torment the animals? (Of course not, you read my weblog.)

One purpose for zoos is to expose people to wild animals to supposedly generate an empathy for the creatures, but it seemed like every time I’ve gone lately, some kid does something really thoughtless and even a little cruel, and the adults don’t do a damn thing. I’m not surprised at the kids (though these are older kids, and should know better); but I disappointed in the adults.

Arses.

I was feeling pretty unhappy and sorta disgruntled about the whole thing when I left the penguin habitat. Right outside was the polar bear exhibit and the poor guy was out by his pool, obviously suffering from the heat.

While I was standing there, looking at that poor creature, I could hear the people around me talking. One little kid asked his dad if the ‘poor bear was going to be okay’, and a small group of adults were looking at it and shaking their heads in sympathy. Another guy told his girlfriend he was going to “…find someone who worked at the zoo because this bear needs help,” while the rest of us just looked on with various states of worry and concern on our faces.

It was getting close to closing time so I headed back to the exit. I passed the drinking fountain by the lake and there was a father there with his kids (lots of fathers out I noticed). This fountain is a circular piece of metal that has spigots at various heights, each running all the time, forming both a drinking fountain and a piece of art. The kids were splashing each other and laughing, and the Dad was looking on, smiling until suddenly he ran up to the fountain and cupped some of the water and threw it at one of the little girls. She, cute little thing, screamed with delight and started running around. At that point, everyone was splashing everybody else, and everyone was getting wet.

Brought a smile to my face, and even, dare I say it, a giggle; but I didn’t take a picture. This was their moment, wasn’t mine to take.

Arse, indeed.

But that’s enough stuff for now, I think. Time to get back to the technology, and the lists, and “____women_____”. Save some of the rest of the stuff for another day. Besides, a storms moving in, and I want to take pictures.

Categories
Burningbird

Moving House

In the interests of uncomplicating my life, I’m moving all RDF related posts back to Burningbird in categories related to RDF, Semantic Web, and so on. I’ve redirected the syndication feeds for this site to pick up a feed to the RDF category, for those only interested in RDF-related material.

Thanks, and see you at the Bird.

Categories
Burningbird Just Shelley

Good-bye old blue

This week is going to be a busy one. I’m canceling my internet and cable a week from Monday, so I need to spend time this week getting addresses and locations and this and that to have on hand when it’s gone. Not to mention finishing up some tasks for which I was hired. This isn’t a heads up that I’m quitting the weblog or anything like that. I’ll probably have Burningbird until I die: an old, decrepit, and lecherous weblogger, poking A-List butt and snickering about the sag. However, I won’t be posting with the same regularity I do now.

Posting with the same regularity. This sounds more like one is taking a laxative than writing; feeding the weblog prunes rather than words. Perhaps it’s best that one doesn’t post with ‘any regularity’. Constipation increases the anticipation, makes the heart grow fonder, that sort of thing.

(Not that I’m saying those who don’t post frequently are constipated, and in need of a good enema. But you know, Tom Cruise has said that a good colonic now and again is all you need. Yes indeed, no problem is so severe that you can’t solve it with a bowel movement.)

Sad to say, I did not attend the Harry Potter opening at my local bookstore last night. I thought about it; thought about attending what has become an iconic symbol of our current culture; thought about it as an act of defiance against the rigidly religious. But then I remembered all those little kids…running around…screaming….running around…more screaming and standing in lines for an hour. I will pick up my copy in a sedate, old fuddy duddy manner today by driving down and queuing for a few minutes, paying over the dimes and pennies from my cookie jar, and taking home what probably is the 12,000,013 copy of the book sold.

(Yes I read the Harry Potter books. Of course I read the Harry Potter books. I also follow up to date information about the Loch Ness Monster, too. (This is a particularly good story on Nessie: full of teeth, ripped apart deer, hints of giant fanged eels, mysterious water agents, and so on. I love a good tale.))

Speaking of driving, I took my roommate’s van down to the auto place this week to estimate the damage from the accident we were in on the way to Pridefest earlier this month. The results were what I feared: it is totaled. Oh, it’s still drivable, but the cost to repair the vehicle is more than it’s worth. The insurance company gave Roomie two options: they’ll pay the blue book on the car and he turns it over to the salvage company; or he gets a salvage license and has the vehicle repaired–though they won’t cover the full cost of the repair.

It’s a shame, really. Roomie would rather have donated the vehicle to one of the organizations that fixes them and gives them to charitable organizations. However, state law is rather picky on what happens to vehicles deemed ‘totaled’. You can’t just drive around in them.

So Monday, Old Blue is going to the salvage yard, most likely to be chopped into pieces. And Roomie will now be sharing Golden Girl with me, driving her to and from work, while I reserve my country walks and hikes for after hours and weekends. He’ll then cover 2/3’s of the cost, which helps me, and without him having to plunk the money down on a new car right now, which helps him.

This is actually a very cost effective plan. If I want the car during the week, I’ll give him a lift to and from work and then have it during the day. Otherwise, I’ll take the bus or walk. During the weekend, he can ride his bike (or use the car if I’m not using it). We save on insurance and maintenance and various other costs, and no one really suffers any loss. Considering that I didn’t even have a driver’s license until five years, ago, not having a car 24×7 is not a particular hardship.

In fact, I’m starting a new regime myself this week: walking to the local Starbuck’s for a cup of coffee in the mornings. It’s 1.7 miles each way, which gives me a nice 3.4 mile walk. More importantly, it puts me into a schedule and a routine, and also gets me out of the house and into settings with people. I have started holding conversations with the rabbits, squirrels, and birds in our finch garden. The neighbors are starting to look at me most peculiarly. I really must get out with people more often.

The trip to the auto place was rather interesting. It was very busy and several people were working: all men except for one stunningly beautiful young woman. It was she who looked at my car, and did the estimates of the work. She was charming and helpful and very knowledgeable, as well as drop dead gorgeous. What was rather creepy is that the men in the place totally disregarded both of us. Even when she called out for one guy to check something else with her, he ignored her for the longest time, until finally sauntering over to glance at the back end of the car, mutter a few cryptic words, and then sauntering away again: not once looking at her, not once at me.

We were two women, alone; the Isle of Women, adrift in the Sea of Man. The land that Indy 500 built. And I thought I had it bad in tech.

I appreciated the kind, kind words about the photos in the last post. They meant a lot to me and gave me a boost when I needed it. I can truthfully say that I’ve worked through the anger mentioned in the post, though it wasn’t easy doing so, and I am still working through the cause and writing a post on same. I don’t mind writing angry, but I do mind writing incoherently. Well, more incoherently than usual. There is a difference between being passionate in one’s view, and spitting all over the screen. I’ll leave the latter for the politically inclined.

 

Categories
Just Shelley Photography

A quiet moment of rain

Hurricane Dennis turned to Tropical Storm Dennis and finally to Tropical Depression Dennis where it made its way, directly, to some of the most drought plagued areas in the country. The Missouri bootheel has received about 4 inches of rain, and we in St. Louis have received close to 2 inches. Not a heavy rain, either. A gentle misting rain–warm, but not too warm, and with just a gentle breeze. It was and still is, a thing of exquisite beauty.

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And now you know my deepest, darkest, secret: I love the mist. I love fog, and misty rain, and dew-kissed mornings. Oh, I can appreciate the sunshine, and thrill to a storm. But I love the mist.

I pulled jeans over my poor bug bitten legs and set off for the Botanical Gardens, taking along my camera in hopes the rain would remain light. When I arrived at the park, there were a few other souls walking about. They carried umbrellas, but I just had on my soft, gray t-shirt–a soft, bittersweet gray, like the day–and black jeans, camera in its waterproof carrying case.

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The water lilies are back. Gray mist and water lilies: can it get any better? Today was a day meant for poetry, and I found a lovely one titled The Water Nymph, by a man named Jerry Sarvas, who says of himself:

Jerry Sarvas, 49 lives on the fringe of society. A conscientious objector drafted during the Vietnam War, he enjoys being anonymous as much as possible and isn’t interested in being a part of any more armies …. be they military or spiritual.

I hesitated about repeating Sarvas’ poetry, because by doing so, I betray his desire for anonymity. But I know of no poet who doesn’t appreciate that another likes their work. Even Emily Dickinson–quiet, shy, and betrayed Emily Dickinson, sewed her poems into books rather than hold each over a flame once written.

The Water Nymph

Silhouette of pagan beauty
Drenched in moonlight’s soothing rays
Reflects upon the peaceful water
While pungent clouds of Shivranjani
Drift seductively around the pool.
Scented gardenias float on the surface
Captured in her dancing hair.
Moon rays shower her with beauty
Darkness drapes her through the night
Gentle splishing playful splashing
Starlight glistens from her body
Illuminating moon soaked breasts
Drenched in music, bathed in rapture
Blissfully floating undisturbed
A vision of contentment
Her gentle sway – her divine play.

Another poem that comes to mind is Sabrina Fair by Milton, but one poem is enough for today. Still, Sabrina Fair is a lovely poem. Print it out, and hold it for your own misty day.

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The weather and the joys of the garden were a wonderful distraction from the blisters on my legs, though now that I’m in a chair, they are making themselves known. Each bite goes through the same cycle: pencil eraser sized dark red spot, blister, and then an ugly red spreading out. With one, the redness has spread half across my shin. It doesn’t help to know that these will heal, all on their own. I do know that this is the last time into the Missouri woods this summer, even woods as domesticated as those of the Shaw Nature center. Either I’ll walk groomed gardens, or I’ll walk on rocky paths — no trees, no bushes. There is obviously something inimical to me in the Missouri Green.

No, not until Fall signals the all-clear sign.

mistday1

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I had an amazing dream last night. The coloring was golden throughout–lighter than sepia, warmer than grays. All in gold, except for splashes of purple; bright splashes of purple here and there: glowing from a street light or reflected from a shiny lawn ornament.

In the dream, Michael Jackson was taking care of my Dad. Yes, that Michael Jackson: terror of tiny tots the world over. We’re in my Dad’s apartment, and Dad is sitting in a chair, with a white sheet wrapped around him like a toga. As I came in, he looked up and smiled at me, but didn’t say anything–just smiled. Michael enters the room, hair in his eyes and his movements are nervous. His hands are in his pockets, and he’s wearing a white dinner jacket and dark pants. He says something about my Dad, but I’m not happy with him, because my Dad does not look that well cared for. So here I am in the dream, lecturing the writer of Thriller on how to care for my father, all the while he’s responding in that soft, whiny voice of his.

But then the dream shifted, and I’m riding along on a motorcycle, through an odd, surreal town made of cement blocks, on a barren plain with thick stormy clouds overhead. The only color, other than the gold that persisted throughout the dream, was that bright, vivid purple, flashing from the stoplights.

 

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Someone was riding with me, but I don’t know who. The same person was with me all throughout the dream…but I don’t know who it was. They were nothing more than a pants clad leg with boot out of the corner of my eye, arms wrapped around my waist as we rode, hand on my shoulder as we looked at my father.

We ride through a city of faceless people who are wandering about the neon lit streets, bamboo forming a ceiling over the road. We drove straight until we come to a large structure — a parking garage, with walls open to the air. We entered the building and traveled around and up, and through the open walls we could see out over the plains as the storm worsened. I received an impression that the person with me wanted to turn back, but I wanted to continue.

Suddenly, with a flash of purple lightning, a tornado began to form in front of us. It was glorious, and I stopped the motorcycle and we–the leg and I–looked up into the dark column, at the movement of the air as it tore across the plains and toward the cement city we were in.

But then I woke up.

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I laid there on the bed trying to relive the dream in my mind to preserve it as it passed from my fanciful self, my artistic self who has no speech into this, the aware and verbal me. But as happens, there are no anchors in a verbal world for such flights, and it began to fade and all I can remember is what I’ve told you.

What I want to know is: why purple?

mistday4

Categories
Just Shelley

Stuckness

Golden Girl has been slightly sluggish the last week, and I wondered if I had taken too long for the last oil change. It just turned 50,000, so I imagine that problems will happen but I’d hoped they wouldn’t happen just now. Tonight, however, when I was driving to the park to walk, the “Check Engine Light” came on. Well, a light in the dashboard came on, but since I had lost my owner manual over a year ago, I wasn’t sure what it meant.

I pulled over immediately and did like I’d seen countless men of my acquaintance do in the past: I opened the hood and stood there, hands on my hips, looking down at the engine and waiting for enlightenment. Sure enough, enlightenment came. I shut the hood, walked to the back of the car, opened the trunk, pulled back the trunk carpet, and there on top of the spare tire was the owner’s manual.

(Later when I was telling my roommate the story, he didn’t bat an eye when I told him the manual was under the carpet in the trunk, lying on top of the spare tire. When I asked him why, he replied, “Well, I was married to you for almost twenty years.”)

According to the manual, the “Check Engine Light” doesn’t necessarily mean a serious problem: it could be caused by water in the gas, poor gas quality, and even a gas cap not shut tightly enough. As long as the light isn’t blinking, there’s no harm in driving the car for a time and the manual recommended driving the car through three complete fuel cycles. If it’s still on, then take it into the mechanic.

When I got home, I searched for information related to a 2002 Ford Focus and the “Check Engine Light” and in most cases, poor quality fuel was the cause. A couple of people had problems with a “EGR valve”, which I guess is also called the “O2 sensor”. A couple of others had some problems with the fuel intake system, but I didn’t have any of the other symptoms to match the problems they experienced.

One person in a car forum suggested unplugging the battery and then plugging it back in. In response, another reader wrote:

Last year sometime I had the same thing happen with the engine light, except when I unplugged the battery and then hooked it back up it still stayed on. When I took it into the dealer they said that a vacuum hose had caught fire and melted.

I agreed with the third person who replied, well that’s not healthy.

I searched some more and found a paper that explained how the Exhaust Gas Recirculation (EGR) system works. The paper is for a Chrysler, but the architecture is consistent with most late model cars. I then found another site that discusses how to use diagnostic tools to determine the problem. Did you know that when a light is signaled in your dash, a code is recorded in software indicating the origin of the problem? When the mechanics hook up the gadgets, what they’re basically doing is downloading this code. (And we thought that mechanics would just listen to your car and know, magically, what the problem is.)

During my search, I remembered that my last trip out I had to fill up my gas tank at a little no-name gas station in the back woods. And my car had been in for a tune-up not that long ago and other than two of my tires getting mighty worn, the car came through with flying colors. Ipso facto: bad gas.

Of course if after three fuel cycles the light doesn’t go away, I’ll take it in. Or park it until I can afford to take it in. Until then, there’s nothing I can do about the light so I’m not going to worry about it.

Problem. Enlightenment and the Search. Acceptance. I have become, in effect, a self-taught mechanic.

Let’s consider a reevaluation of the situation in which we assume that the stuckness now occurring, the zero of consciousness, isn’t the worst of all possible situations, but the best possible situation you could be in. After all, it’s exactly this stuckness that Zen Buddhists go to so much trouble to induce; through koans, deep breathing, sitting still and the like. Your mind is empty, you have a “hollow-flexible” attitude of “beginner’s mind.” You’re right at the front end of the train of knowledge, at the track of reality itself. Consider, for a change, that this is a moment to be not feared but cultivated. If your mind is truly, profoundly stuck, then you may be much better off than when it was loaded with ideas.

Stuckness shouldn’t be avoided. It’s the psychic predecessor of all real understanding. An egoless acceptance of stuckness is a key to an understanding of all Quality, in mechanical work as in other endeavors. It’s this understanding of Quality as revealed by stuckness which so often makes self-taught mechanics so superior to institute-trained men who have learned how to handle everything except a new situation.

Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, Robert Pirsig