Categories
Just Shelley

Kicking funk

Today’s a really nice day–warm, but with a cool breeze and low humidity. The clouds are nice, fat, and fluffy white, against a dark blue sky and people smile at you without you even having to ask for it; even the birds seem to be singing more. This is good because I’ve been in a funk lately, and just haven’t been feeling up to challenging trails (or even sidewalks).

The run of good weather will last through the weekend, so this will probably be my last post for a few days, as I am turning this titanium dominatrix off and spending time outside. In the outdoors. Away from computer. Away from my cellphone. Maybe even away from the camera, though I’m not sure I know how to walk without the camera bag on my back.

First though I had errands to run. I got my hair cut by Ramona, who did a really great job. It’s now a mass of short, wavy curls, with a flirty little flip at the bottom. I feel so hip and fun–not bad for one of those inexpensive walk-in places. Not bad for an older woman with the funk.

Then it was to Petsmart to pick up grass to give to my chlorophyll-junkie cat, and to spend time petting and patting the pups that people bring in. Today, one of the women who works at the store had her 12-week old west highland terrier puppy with her, and that little sweetie just stole my heart.

After extended puppy therapy, I stopped by the market and picked up fresh fruit: bananas, white nectarines, pluots (plum-apricot hybrid), and cherries. The cherries are really nice firm, dark bings–sweet and juicy. And the rest of the fruit seems equally luscious, though it cost an outrageous amount of money. It’s not easy or cheap to eat healthy, but I felt needed the fresh produce, for medicinal reasons.

I also picked up some homemade spinach fettuccine noodles, as well as some unusual new small, but larger than cherry-sized tomatoes, artichokes in seasoned oil, black olives, garlic, onion, cream, and cheese to make a vegetarian Alfredo. It’s simple — just cut the tomatoes and olives up into the artichoke oil to marinade for a time (then drain), cook the sauce (with the garlic and onion) and the noodles and then toss all of together . That’s it — no salad, no bread. And fresh fruit and sorbet for desert.

If this doesn’t kick the funk, nothing will.

Coming back, I passed an intersection where firemen will hold their boots out to collect for charities, and one of the local churches collects for its mission downtown. Today, though, a young man was standing on it, holding up a sign that read, simply, “Down on my luck”. Just standing there, stiff backed, holding that sign. Not approaching the cars, or extending containers to the drivers. Just standing there, looking straight ahead.

I guess it goes to show that no matter how put upon you’re feeling, someone else has it worse. If the sight of him didn’t kick me in the funk, it definitely kicked me in the butt.

Life is good. I have fresh cherries to eat, so life is good.

Categories
Web Writing

Dusting off the poet

It’s been a long time since I’ve indulged in any poetry at the site. Been a long time since I’ve haunted poets.org to look for just the right verse to suit a picture or a mood.

This week, I oiled my inner poet and set it on its creaky way only to find out that poets.org has undergone a rather significant reorganization. Faced with ‘new’ and wondering if there was anything in there for the inner geek as well as the inner poet, I explored about.

One new feature, or at least, new to me, is many of the poems now is have a topic association. For instance, if a poem is related to aging, other poems related to this topic are listed in the sidebar. This goes beyond groupings of poem by poet, period, and era. It definitely goes beyond keyword searches. It’s given me much thought, and new ideas, in my own continuing search for the case-insensitive semantic web.

The site also has a listening booth, though perhaps it already had this and I didn’t notice. Anyway, the listening book contains readings by poets and readings about poets, including my favorite Dylan Thomas.

Having satisfied the geek, at least for the moment, I returned to the poet, though poet is inaccurate and even a conceit, because I can barely walk and talk at the same time, much less rhyme. If, though, code is poetry, then I wield a mean curly bracket with the best of them. As for loops, you should see me loop–sexiest thing since fishnet stockings.

Returning to my poet, I accessed the improved search engine and searched on the keyword “words”; finding not one but two really great poems from contemporary poets among those returned. Since I’ve been remiss in letting my inner poet out for a walk, I’ll publish both.

Sorry, no photos to accompany the works. The weather continues in the 90s and heavily humid, and I have had no desire to sweat and puddle my way through new venues (though I must break out of my cave tomorrow morning before I bite the cat from cabin fever).

A Quick One Before I Go by David Lehman

There comes a time in every man’s life

when he thinks: I have never had a single

original thought in my life

including this one & therefore I shall

eliminate all ideas from my poems

which shall consist of cats, rice, rain

baseball cards, fire escapes, hanging plants

red brick houses where I shall give up booze

and organized religion even if it means

despair is a logical possibility that can’t

be disproved I shall concentrate on the five

senses and what they half perceive and half

create, the green street signs with white

letters on them the body next to mine

asleep while I think these thoughts

that I want to eliminate like nostalgia

0 was there ever a man who felt as I do

like a pronoun out of step with all the other

floating signifiers no things but in words

an orange T-shirt a lime green awning

How can you not love a poem that has a line like o was there ever a man who felt as I do like a pronoun out of step with all the other floating signifiers? This poem should be required reading for everyone who has found the truth. Then it should be required for everyone who thinks they have lost it.

All She Wrote by Harryette Mullen

Forgive me, I’m no good at this. I can’t write back. I never read your letter.

I can’t say I got your note. I haven’t had the strength to open the envelope.

The mail stacks up by the door. Your hand’s illegible. Your postcards were

defaced. Wash your wet hair? Any document you meant to send has yet to

reach me. The untied parcel service never delivered. I regret to say I’m

unable to reply to your unexpressed desires. I didn’t get the book you sent.

By the way, my computer was stolen. Now I’m unable to process words. I

suffer from aphasia. I’ve just returned from Kenya and Korea. Didn’t you

get a card from me yet? What can I tell you? I forgot what I was going to

say. I still can’t find a pen that works and then I broke my pencil. You know

how scarce paper is these days. I admit I haven’t been recycling. I never

have time to read the Times. I’m out of shopping bags to put the old news

in. I didn’t get to the market. I meant to clip the coupons. I haven’t read

the mail yet. I can’t get out the door to work, so I called in sick. I went to

bed with writer’s cramp. If I couldn’t get back to writing, I thought I’d catch

up on my reading. Then Oprah came on with a fabulous author plugging

her best selling book.

Another brilliant line and somewhat, oddly sad: I regret to say I’m unable to reply to your unexpressed desires. But now I have a highly original way of apologizing for unanswered email. What is your excuse?

Categories
Burningbird

Making do

As you may have noticed, I’ve re-designed my site. Again. Compared to the flames, the look is actually rather conservative, although I prefer to think of it as subtle.

While working on a client’s site this week, I noticed that after staring at her pages for a time, my own site seemed, in comparison, very harsh on the eyes. Eventually it got to the point where I would squint when I accessed the weblog. I don’t know if this effect is peculiar to me, but I didn’t like the fact that I might be causing people to half close their eyes when looking at my pages. I hope to generate reactions with my web site, but I don’t want ‘pain’ to be among them.

Now, with the soft greens, blues, and plums, though the design may not make you jump up and down with excitement, and it lacks some of the modern/with-it/hip flourishes, at least it doesn’t make you squint.

Issues of visual overstimulation aside, there is another reason I changed the site design: the purple pixel effect.

I’ve written before about the purple (magenta) pixel that runs down my monitor in my TiBook. Its cause is the continuous opening and closing of the lid, leading to wear in the connections between the video card and the display. Luckily, unlike others, I’ve only had the one line so far, but it is rather prominently situated about 1/4 of the way in from the left side.

For the most part, I’ve been able to compensate for the purple pixel. I’ve even learned to make use of it–it makes a great straight edge when aligning documentation in code and blocks of CSS in my stylesheets. Still, there are times when the purple pixel adds a distracting element and accessing my pages was one of those. The magenta clashed, horribly, with the flame design–really nasty.

With the new look, the purple pixel provides a bit of dash and color when I align the browser window so that the line fits just so over the break between the lighter green and the darker green in the left frame of the content window. Since you can’t see this, I captured part of the screen and then used PhotoShop to create a 1-pixel line the same color in the image–using my one-pixel screen aberration to accurately draw the line.

Categories
Writing

Distinctiveness

Kathy Sierra, author of the popular “Head First” series from O’Reilly, asked a question: Is your book, manual, website remarkable (or recognizable) at every scale?

There’s a game I used to play where you take a really small image from the painting of a famous artist and try to identify it. The trick is to see how small a sample you can use before you can no longer recognize either the painting or the artist. It’s amazing just how identifiable a Van Gogh or a Monet or a Kandinsky or a Miro is, just from the tiniest slice. It’s a wonderful game to teach yourself to really see the way the artist used color, texture, light, shapes, lines, etc.

Now, take the nearest computer book on your shelf and open it to a random interior page somewhere in the middle. Can you tell who the publisher is just by looking? Can you tell who the author is? Go a little further and start reading a paragraph. Now can you tell?

That’s the problem.


Kathy raises an interesting point. As a book author, I would hope that each book I write stands out from the others on a specific topic. In fact, I, and my royalties, are dependent on this to some extent.

However, Kathy places the burden for uniqueness almost purely on the visualization of the books–what each looks like when opened to a random middle page. This tends to emphasize a more visual learning technique, and though this approach works for some people, it doesn’t work for all. Studies conducted in the past have shown that each of us has a preferred learning style: a method of learning that facilitates how quickly we absorb new material. Tests, surveys, and other assessment techniques are used to help us identify our learning style, and how we can best make use of it.

One such technique, the DVC Learning Survey, breaks learning styles into Visual/Verbal, Visual/Nonverbal, Tactile/Kinesthetic, and Auditory/Verbal. According to the survey results, I am a strong Visual/Verbal, which means I learn best when material is presented visually–as bullet points or diagrams–and in writing.

With another, the Felder-Soloman Index of Learning Styles survey, I am barely Reflective, strongly Intuitive, evenly divided between Verbal and Visual, and mildly Global. This means I tend to learn better by thinking things through rather than hands on; that I prefer concepts over concrete facts; and work from the big picture to the details. This is fairly consistent with the results of the DVC survey.

(You can take the DVC survey yourself –name and other information not required; the Index of Learning styles can be found here. Other studies and self-tests are listed in this helpful summary page.)

These styles, while quite accurate overall, aren’t immutable; the context of a learning situation can alter which style works best. For instance, when working with code I prefer learning by example, which is more Tactile/Kinesthetic on the DVC scale. Based on this, I prefer books that provide numerous small, easy to accomplish examples that allow me to quickly learn the material being presented.

When I’m trying to create one of my homemade books, though, I work almost exclusively with diagrams (which is Visual/Nonverbal). The bookbinding books I like the most are those with clear illustrations, preferably using photographs demonstrating the techniques.

It is a combination of basic learning style and behavior in certain circumstances that makes each of us learn in different, unique ways. However, publishers can’t target the individual; not and make a profit. All they can do is create a specific book brand that caters to a group of people, and make sure the books within that brand are consistent.

A case in point: O’Reilly has many well known brands of books, and each has a different audience. Among the more well known brands is the “In a Nutshell” series, which differs, dramatically, from those that Kathy writes: the “Head First” series. The former is pure text, little diagraming, and focuses largely on specific facts and must-know information, given with little verbal embellishments. The Head First books, though, make heavy use of humor, whimsey, and graphics. Oddly enough, on any particular topic, both types of books probably provide the same amount and type of information–the only difference is the presentation.

There are those who love the Nutshell series; there are those who prefer the Head First series. There might even be people who like books from both, but which series they’ll purchase a book from is dependent on the topic.

Regardless of style, though, the key element is the material offered: if it isn’t quality, no amount of pretties will make it better. I agree with Danny Ayers (author of a book I’m currently reading, “RSS and Atom Programming”–an excellent and comprehensive read with lots of examples), who wrote:

Style and branding is important to the consumer. It’s certainly significant when it comes to purchase decisions, and undoubtedly influences their response to the material when reading.

But generally I do think Kathy is over-concerned with presentation. She talks of it being a way to make a memorable impact, make the book remarkable. She does touch on an author’s “information style”, yep, that’s more like it – surely the most significant thing is the content. That’s what should be remarkable, the rest is icing. Unless it’s visually-oriented, a good book/manual/website should still be good typewritten on A4.

The ‘information style’ that Danny quotes is a reference Kathy made about how the writing of the books seems to be similar, regardless of which series the book is in. However, again, this is most likely driven out by the topic — computer books have a certain ‘feel’ to them, and the topic can influence the writing.

When Danny writes about SPARQL, the RDF query language, he uses a different tone and style then when he writes about Sparql–his cat. When I write about RDF, I don’t use the same tone or style of writing as I do when writing about the Ozarks. It’s not that we’re deliberately suppressing our unique styles; it’s that when writing about technology, it’s difficult to pack a great deal of personality into a paragraph, and still be able to provide coverage of the topic.

This leads me to another part of what Kathy mentioned: how granular can one go and still be able to recognize a specific person’s writing. Since she mentioned ‘paragraph’ I decided to visit the archives of some webloggers who I read regularly and pull a paragraph–just one– from each to re-publish here sans name.

These are all people who I’ve referenced in posts in the last year. Can you identify the weblogger? I’ll provide answers annotated as references in a day or so.

(If you recognize yourself — hush up! Don’t tell! You’ll spoil the game.)

1. Jeneane Sessum

These are the times when I wish we had that place in the woods where we could bring each other ginger ale with ice, and warm soup with saltine crackers, maybe a medium cheese pizza late at night, a boxload of books, read to eachother, and tell wonderful stories about trips into town, the curious people we’d meet, with bags full of the weekly staples and furrowed foreheads, staring at us in wonder, wanting to ask: “Ya’ll aren’t from this neck of the woods, are you?”

2. The much missed Jonathon Delacour

I accept that male bloggers are less likely to link to female bloggers: whatever the topic being debated, technology-related or not. But I referred to “men’s alleged reluctance to link to women bloggers” because running through the entire discussion is the unstated assumption that, even though men might not be actively colluding to ignore women, the situation could be turned around if they were made aware of their “unfair” (albeit unconscious) behavior. Yet it is abundantly clear (to me, anyway) that linking practices have far less to do with gender than with deeply ingrained human behavior.

3. Lauren from Feministe

One aspect of blogging that fascinates me is the presence of an individual through words. On the Internet, if you cease writing, you cease to exist. You are only able to exert your Self if you remain an active participant. When you stop writing regularly, you cease to exist through a lack of writing and updates and a loss of readership. The audience’s presence becomes a type of motivation for writing, especially because it plays to our egos and narcissistic tendencies when a respected audience gives positive feedback. This idea interests me so much because I never thought that moving around charged particles on this plastic box could create community or help me grow as a person.

4. Joseph Duemer

The spider has now descended for the fourth time to the top of the legal-sized clipboard I use for a mouse pad & I’m pretty sure that he is engaged upon a huge engineering project: to anchor a web between the ceiling of my study & the shiny metal clip at the top of the clipboard. Because stuff gets moved around on my desk all the time the spider’s efforts are doomed to failure. I am not a good enough Buddhist to refrain from moving the clipboard until the spider moves on, but I am willing to wait & see what the situation looks like in the morning.

5. Yule Heibel

Because of course, when the men play, it’s called avant-gardism and innovation and it’s celebrated as another way to move the particular forward and make it all even more terrifically universal. But it’s always the male-controlled particular that’s advocated, it’s that particular which is allowed to modify the universal or collective bindingness. The female particular is brushed off as …well, as too particular. So tedious. So …male-bashing: this latter epithet is supposed to be the kiss of death, the ne plus ultra, but it’s really the final reveal of the man who has nothing left to say, sort of like a sad codpiece covering …nothing very much.

6. Sheila Lennon

Despite the lofty language, it’s Napster with fish, although simpler: You can’t control the type of fish you get. But if you could, if you could search the network for angelfish, for example, and even peek at what other fish the angelfish-owners might harbor, and bring them to your system, you’d have Napster. Fish files, music files, video files, it’s all just data.

7. AKMA

’ll say more about this when I blog about reputation, which I hope to do this evening or tomorrow morning, but the cardinal point in all this is that the impetus for widespread acceptance of DigID will come when it feels like using a credit card. That is, no matter how porously insecure physical-world credit card transactions are (and there’s no mistaking their comically insecure character), a credit card feels safe to most users. A credit card resides in my pocket; I can choose to use it or pay with anonymously cash (sometimes—but the ideology of security tends of conceal the exceptions); my credit card has whoop-de-doo security features like a magnetic strip and a laser-etched hologram, a confirmation code printed on the opposite side, and my own signature right on it. These contribute to a sense that somehow physical-world credit cards are secure, but digital identity isn’t. Give Jack Public the feeling that DigID works like a credit card, and you’ll be most of the way home.

8. Don Park

I wonder why most blogs have no ads? We are not shy about recommending things, places, and products on our posts, so why not have ads for the recommended things, places, and products on our blogs? If it can be done easily and without losing control, bloggers can make money without selling out.

(Try this yourself with some of the webloggers you read. It’s interesting to read through people’s writing and seeing how much their voice changes from post to post, year to year.)

Categories
Just Shelley Technology

What’s the use?

Wayback Machine has copy of this story with comments

Last week I had an email from a person writing an anger management manual, who wanted permission to quote my old posts about using anger as a weapon against helplessness.

In the posts, I wrote about Dr. Martin E. P. Seligman’s research into a cause of depression he termed ‘learned helplessness’–where a person internalizes their inability to control a situation so much so that even if a method of change does present itself, they don’t see it. Seligman has based his entire career on techniques to fight this destructive perception.

As serendipity would have it, Joel Spolsky of Joel on Software just released his list of book recommendations for programmers and it featured Seligman’s book on the subject. This list, though, led to an ironic development, because I’ve been fighting my own sense of ‘learned helplessness’, and Joel’s book recommendations just added to it when I noted that not one of the books featured was by a woman; not even a co-writer.

I have become increasingly sensitive to this because not long after receiving the email from the anger management person, I had a chance to see pictures of employees of a company that provides services central to weblogging, and was disheartened to see that of all the pictures shown, over 20, only one was a woman–and she was in a non-technical position. This started me searching among all of the tech companies associated in some way with weblogging. In all, regardless of the nature of the business, there are very few women employees; of those, most are either in business or support positions.

For instance, O’Reilly Publishing has several women in key positions, but if you look at the senior editing staff, there isn’t one woman–at least none that I can see, and I looked, hard. People have said that women at O’Reilly do play a major part in the O’Reilly conferences, but from what I’ve seen in the past, they’re behind the scenes, not up on the stages. And where are the women authors? Where are the women who write the articles, and the books? Are there none of us left? Not at the new O’Reilly weblog–and rarely in the photos.

How many women are engineers at Six Apart? I know that the support staff is primarily women, but how about the engineering staff? How many women engineers with Google? How about Yahoo? The other major companies associated directly or indirectly with weblogging?

(I hope you all return with “lots”. It would give me fresh hope.)

I wrote in an email to a friend last week that rather than empower women, especially women in technology, I’m concerned that weblogging will ultimately prove harmful to women. Why? Because technology companies are looking more to the weblogs and to those who are more ‘vocal’ in this environment for new recruits for their companies. When you consider that most of the people doing the hiring are men in their 40′s or less, who tend to read others of like frame of mind, particularly those who have more notoriety, what happens, then, to the more traditional recruiting process?

Rather than post a job notice to Monster, or to local recruiters or in whatever local newspaper, these same people send emails out to the bright, enthusiastic, vocal, usually younger men who dominate the technology weblogs. The end result is that technology companies associated with weblogging tend to have a male-female ratio out of synch with the demographics of the rest of the country. So what happens, then, if this continues as a trend, as more and more companies enter into the world of weblogging?

This is a chilling prospect, especially to us older women in technology who haven’t secured a comfortable position. I ran from this in fear a couple of months ago when I took what little money I had on a trip to Florida to try and discover a new career in travel writing and photography. I was desperate to find hope, and instead, found a timeshare.

That’s not to say that I haven’t had interviews. Two weeks ago I had a phone interview with a major player in this field, and the interview did not go well. Everything was fine until he started giving me the technology quizzes — the questions that techs tend to ask to see if you ‘really’ know this stuff. As soon as he started I froze and had difficulty answering any of the questions. It wasn’t that I don’t know the stuff — it’s just that I have never been particularly adept at these types of interviews. When I was fresh out of college, true; but not lately.

When he asked how he could assess my technical abilities, I suggested he read my writings and look at my resume. He was very personable and very pleasant, but it did leave me feeling even more depressed.

These thoughts rattled around in my brain this last week, and with each new photo published online featuring primarily all men, or each new radio show or company almost exclusively all men, I became more depressed — I was fast approaching an internalized view that women in technology are a dying breed, and there is little we can do to change this–and I was one of the first old dragons being booted out the door.

Normally in times past, I would have written a blistering note about this issue in my weblog, and felt re-energized and ready to battle this particular demon. My anger sustained me and made me strong. Not this last week, though, I just felt quieter. Every time I would go to write something, I would lose interest almost immediately. I focused instead on working on Wordform and playing with Greasemonkey, and other odds and ends; even then, I didn’t feel like writing about what I was doing.

“What’s the use,” I told myself, and therein is the statement that lives in the core of learned helplessness.

The three most deadly words are not, “I hate you”, but, “What’s the use”.

I had a second interview with another major player on Friday, and this time, I felt very good about my answers. Rather than quiz me on specific uses of technology, he asked what I would do in this circumstance or that. Now, these are the types of questions I am very comfortable with, and which are equally good about determining how familiar you are with the field, the technology, and even how much you’ve thought about it and where are your interests. More than that, it was in a specific use of technology that has been important to me and my enthusiasm for the work was such that I probably could have talked his ear off for several hours.

I have no idea if either of these recruiters will follow up after the interviews. I have learned not to get my hopes up too high (being realistic is not being helpless). Regardless, though, I felt good about the second interview and this gave me a boost.

Looking around I see debates on technology and other topics that I want to be a part of, and though I have to fight my growing tendency to say to myself, “What’s the use”, I counter this with noting that if I’m ignored by the players, others are also ignored by the players and that sex isn’t always. the determining factor. This helps chip away at the helplessness when I realize that the ‘problem’, as such, doesn’t necessarily reside in me, as much as it resides among the players and the environment.

I am also getting more requests for help with individual and smaller company sites, so I am gainfully employed (thanks in no small part to the requests and recommendations I’ve received from many of you), and this helps break me out of not only the cycle of worry about money but a growing despondency. Even if I have to find work outside my field in order to make it month to month, this isn’t a sign that I’m not good at what I do or a failure in my field; it is a sign that times are tough. Most importantly, I can’t look at others and their successes and allow this to make me feel a failure–each of us has different times in our lives when things work…and when they don’t.

I actually want to find that point again where I get angry–furious–at what I read. I want to write scathing retorts and blistering diatribes, and sincere though strongly worded commentary. Then I’ll be the bird that burns, and people will be pissed and link and de-link accordingly, and I’ll just smile toothily at the results because anything is better than “What’s the use”.

But I don’t think I’ll ever burn quite as brightly again: over the last few years, I’ve had my deepest confidence in myself and my future shaken; there will always be a part of me ready to throw in the flag, a tiny voice ready to cry out, “What’s the use”. When you’ve gone down this road, you’re marked. It’s now up to me to make sure this was a one-time journey and not a repeat trip. In this effort, I’ll use any weapon, up to, and including, walking away from something important to me if I feel it gives harm.

Now I’ve aired my dark thoughts and my doubts, and time to focus on the light and the wonder, and there are new and interesting debates on the semantic web emerging, and I don’t think I’ve chastized the Men of Weblogging enough this week–and my cat wants me to play. Thank goodness for cats, chocolate, friends who can handle soggy shoulders, cuddlesome moments, nature, small children, music, good books, and new toys we can’t afford–not necessarily in that order.