Category: Stuff

Recovered from the Wayback Machine.

I had books to ship out to friends and family and took them to the local mail service shop. As the counter person was typing in the shipping information, I asked about several boxes next to the counter, all with Australian addresses.

It would seem that an American living in Australia missed O’Doul’s non-alcoholic beer so much, he had his sister ship him 13 cases of it.

Cost? $600.00 for the beer, and $1300.00 for the shipping. That’s US dollars.

All I can say is that the man must love O’Doul’s.

This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs.

Any questions?

Sure there are starving people in the world, and war, and a lot of pain and suffering and sickness, but hey! It’s time to re-focus back on what’s truly important to Americans: Baseball.

I mean, really, stop fretting about the World Summit, and turn off that report about an invasion of Iraq — tomorrow we could be faced with an act that digs at the very foundation of our society. Tomorrow we could be faced with a Baseball Strike

What will we do? Who will help those poor unfortunate Baseball players, barely subsisting on a seven-figure salary?

Luckily, there is something you can do as discovered by Michael Mussington:

For only $20,835 a month, about $694.50 a day (that’s less than the cost of a large screen projection TV) you can help a MLB player remain economically viable during his time of need. This contribution by no means solves the problem as it barely covers the annual minimum salary, but it’s a start, and every little bit will help!

Read more, and remember: only you can help a baseball player.

In my second night of tossing and turning and attempting not to scratch or otherwise abrade numerous bites, it came to me that what was missing from weblogging was limericks. We need more limericks. No, really, we do.

So…bad limerick number one.

There was a weblogger named Bird
whose postings were usually ubsurd
until one day
she was taken away
and replaced by a warblogger named Bert

And on that note, ben nuit.

I took that Belief-o-Matic test that’s supposed to tell you the religious system that best suits you.

After finishing the test I waited for the results. And waited. And waited. Finally a simple plain white web page opened, and in the middle of the page I read the following words:

I reached a place where every light is muted,
which bellows like the sea beneath a tempest,
when it is battered by opposing winds.

The hellish hurricane, which never rests,
drives on the spirits with its violence:
wheeling and pounding, it harasses them.

The soul falls headlong, down into this cistern;
and up above, perhaps, there still appears
the body of the shade that winters here.*

As I puzzled over the results, a beating sound started coming from my computer and my monitor started slowing spinning. I was amazed since I was using a laptop and the monitor doesn’t spin.

Faster went the monitor, louder was the beating, smoke poured from the machine until all of a sudden the monitor stopped spinning and displayed

The Blue Screen of Death

And then my machine died. A melted plastic blob, still faintly smoking. In the air, the subtle scent of burnt plastic mixed in with overripe ocean and rotten eggs.

Luckily I had this backup machine so I could post to my weblog. Unfortunately, I don’t have any results from the test to post.

Sorry.