Haiku of gardens and pillows

I have a secret fetish for gardens and anytime I’m feeling stressed, I spend time out at the Botanical Gardens, Tower Grove, or Shaw. However, when I’m constrained to the house by weather or heat or the need to finish work, I make do with garden weblogs. I’m not sure why, but these weblogs almost invariably sooth and relax me; whether they’re showing photos of a new flower, or talking about pest control–human or insect, doesn’t matter.

It’s easy to find garden weblogs thanks to Sheila Lennon’s list of garden weblogs. But don’t stop there–Sheila also links the most unusual and interesting material weekly, such as this idea for what I can do with Zoë, my cute furball, when she goes on to her rewards.

Cute doesn’t always come furry, though; Bill from Prairie Point has been posting photos of flowers from his garden, including some lovely lantana but I’m more partial to his new armadillo. I don’t know why, but I adore armadillos. Probably make a lousy pillow.

Could make a good lunchbox. Great place to put my BLTs for hiking trips.

Of course BLTs (my favorite sandwich) require tomatoes. Don from Hands in the Dirt and I have been talking about tomatoes and the unfortunate fact that the only tomatoes I have access to here in St. Louis are those I buy in the supermarket. My budget did not allow for the necessary expenditure of pots to start my patio garden, so this year, tomatoes come in baggies.

There’s a haiku in that, I think:

Tomato ripen
framed in plastic sheet
Peel off small label

The Bookish Gardener writes about a Japanese garden in Illinois I hope to visit in the near future, since it’s only about 4 hours away. In the same post, she lists some sites that provide garden photos for people to annotate with haiku, providing several photos of her own for those who indulge in the muse.

I can’t do haiku to save my soul, but I liked the following from the photo/haiku site:

summery garden
there is no answer
sober up

There is something about a summer garden, especially at night that is intoxicating — sober up, indeed. I wouldn’t marry a man for his money, but I might for his garden.

Actually, I could be easily seduced in a garden at night, especially if plied with fresh tomatoes. No, better yet: fresh peaches. You bite into the fruit still warm from the day’s sun, and the juice drips delicately over your soft summer frock. You notice the spots, and pull it down from your shoulder to wash the sticky juice from the light, gauzy fabric; using the water at the fountain that plays oh so softly in the background. As you’re focused on the cool water, flowing like champagne across your fingers, arms slip up from behind and…

Whoa! Where did that come from! Think of tech, Shelley. Think of tech.

I don’t have any fresh garden photos, but I do have some of Zoë, the once and future pillow, helping me make the bed; I’m posting them in case you might be inspired to write some haiku. No prizes for best effort, though.

Well, okay: you’ll get a copy of one of my books, autographed by yours truly, with its own RDF-inspired haiku in the front. You’ll have to pay for shipping, though.

No, you can’t have a Zoë pillow.

Speaking of making your pet into a pillow, Christine at Big Pink Cookie points to a Target illustration of how to perfectly fold a fitted sheet. I was moved to demonstrate my own sheet folding technique as follows:

To better understand the complexity of this fold, you also need to see the reverse side:

If you are so moved in your quest for one of my books with genuine hand lettered, barely legible RDF haiku inside, you may also use the photos of the sheets as inspiration.

When placed into the linen closet in the hallway, said sheets are then shoved towards the back, using brute force, among the bunches of equally folded towels. Luckily, there is no photo of this arrangement, as there is a line drawn between what I will and will not put into a weblog entry–and pictures of my linen closet most assuredly fit into ‘not weblog’.

Speaking of which, Stephanie Klein wrote a post To Blog or Not that began with:

Reasons not to blog:

* Stalkers who love you
* Stalkers who hate you
* Bi-polar stalkers who can’t make up their minds but stalk you just the same

Loved it.

Though not a stalker, over at Feministe, Lauren opened her weblog to a new permanent co-blogger, Jill Filipovic. Even though Jill doesn’t like donuts–how can you not like donuts? I mean woman, Krispy Kremes!–I’m looking forward to reading her posts.

An interesting move of Lauren’s: to bring in a permanent co-blogger for what is, or was, a personal weblog. I couldn’t do it with Burningbird–this weblog is probably the most personal thing I still have in my life. It would be like sharing my toothbrush with another person. Or having a threesome.

On the other hand…

Think of tech, Shelley. Focus on tech.

Gardens on a summer night and hidden bowers scented with lavender and peach…and Zoë the once and future pillow, helping me make the bed with my perfectly folded, flower-accented sheets, as I tell her dirty jokes.

There’s this farmer’s daughter and a traveling weblogger who wants to show her his podcast…

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