State of the Union: a Citizen response

Recovered from the Wayback Machine.

I sit at my computer and I think about all the reasoned things I could say in response to President Bush’s State of the Union speech. I am one that has been pushing for moderation from my brothers and sisters in this, the family of those who believes that it is imperative we make a change in leadership this year. I wrote and I polished and I erased and I paced and I read again.

But it was a life affirming moment when I realized that I didn’t have to make a reasoned response. I am not a Journalist, no not even a wannabe one. I am not an elected official or member of the government or candidate for office. I am a regular person, nobody of any importance, and as such I can take all that massive swirling heaving, maelstorm in my brain and literally paint this page with it – and it’s okay! Because I am a Citizen.

Our greatest responsibility is the active defense of the American people. Twenty-eight months have passed since September the 11th, 2001…

Twenty-eight months? Why stop there? Over seven years have passed since Timothy McVeigh decided to ‘teach the government a lesson’ and blew up a Federal building in Oklahoma. Over forty years have gone by since the Russians tried to ship nuclear missles over to Cuba. And over sixty years have passed since the Attack on Pearl Harbor.

But if we’re determined to be frightened, truly frightened, let’s not stop there.

Over 100 years have passed since the Maine was sunk during the Spanish American War. And let’s not forget those sneaky Southerners and them wanting to bust up the Union. Well that happened 150 years ago, more or less. And close to 230 years have passed since we kicked the British out during the Revolutionary War. Damn Brits, thinking they could tax our tea. Let’s go get the Aussies and beat the shit out of the Brits, shall we? We can pretend it’s a soccer game.

Inside the United States, where the war began, we must continue to give homeland security and law enforcement personnel every tool they need to defend us. And one of those essential tools is the Patriot Act..

Fuckin’a, you got that bud. And I want to tell you Prez – I can call you Prez, can’t I – I love your anti-terrorist strategy. Let’s treat every person that enters this country as a terrorist. Let’s fingerprint them, abuse them, prohibit their planes from landing, make it impossible to get a visa, and just make a visit to this country an all around miserable experience. Eventually the regular folk won’t want to come here, and our job will be a whole lot easier because the only ones who will want to come are the terrorists! Brilliant! Shooting fish in a barrel.

Then, once we make all the visitors to our country into terrorists, let’s do that to most of the people in this country – starting with the Democrats. And everyone in San Francisco.

Since we last met in this chamber, combat forces of the United States, Great Britain, Australia, Poland and other countries enforced the demands of the United Nations, ended the rule of Saddam Hussein – and the people of Iraq are free.

Man, is Bush our guy, or what? Of course Iraq and the people are free now – most of the wealth of the country has either been stolen or destroyed so it’s dirt cheap. Sure, you could probably get a hotel room anywhere in the country for less than a Motel 6. Get a hooker for less, see what hides underneath those scarves.

And can you dig that statement about our enforcing the demands of the United Nations? What’s with this “unilateral” shit – we’re only doing what the UN asked us to do. I’m sure I heard them say, “US, please go bomb the bejesus out of the Iraqi people and make us all safe from them horrible Weapons of Mass Destruction.”. Why it’s no different than a girl saying No, she don’t want sex, but you know she does. She really does, she needs to be coaxed.

Month by month, Iraqis are assuming more responsibility for their own security and their own future. And tonight we are honored to welcome one of Iraq’s most respected leaders: the current President of the Iraqi Governing Council, Adnan Pachachi.

Is that the guy over in the corner, with a gag on, a soldier standing over him with a rifle, and a ball and chain around his ankle? Just curious.

Different threats require different strategies. Along with nations in the region, we’re insisting that North Korea eliminate its nuclear program. America and the international community are demanding that Iran meet its commitments and not develop nuclear weapons. America is committed to keeping the world’s most dangerous weapons out of the hands of the most dangerous regimes.

And we’ll bomb the bejesus out of anyone we think is dangerous. You hear! You hear! We’re going to make this world safe if we have to kill every god damn one of you.

I have had the honor of meeting our servicemen and women at many posts, from the deck of a carrier in the Pacific, to a mess hall in Baghdad.

Yup, prime turkey photos in both places, too.

We’re seeking all the facts – already the Kay Report identified dozens of weapons of mass destruction-related program activities and significant amounts of equipment that Iraq concealed from the United Nations. Had we failed to act, the dictator’s weapons of mass destruction programs would continue to this day.

Damn teleprompters! It played parts of the State of the Union speech from 2003. You know, you just can’t trust technology.

America will never seek a permission slip to defend the security of our country.

Because Bush is the baddest matha fucka in the hood, and all your bases belong to him.

I propose increasing our support for America’s fine community colleges, I do so so they can train workers for the industries that are creating the most new jobs.

Is that the 200 million or so that will be spread real thin and make virtually no difference in programs for the unemployed? Ahh, that’s real nice, but McDonald’s and Wal-Mart said I didn’t have to know anything to work for them. Oh, oh, sorry, slip of the tongue – they said I didn’t have to know anything special to work for them.

Unless you act, Americans face a tax increase. What the Congress has given, the Congress should not take away: For the sake of job growth, the tax cuts you passed should be permanent.

And we wouldn’t want to deprive ordinary citizens like Instapundit his 1500.00 in tax refunds, would we?

I urge you to pass legislation to modernize our electricity system, promote conservation, and make America less dependent on foreign sources of energy.

You got all that farm and ranch land in Colorado to sink oil wells in, do you have to go for the Wilderness in Alaska, too?

In two weeks, I will send you a budget that funds the war, protects the homeland, and meets important domestic needs, while limiting the growth in discretionary spending to less than 4 percent. This will require that Congress focus on priorities, cut wasteful spending, and be wise with the people’s money.

Let’s see now, was that discretionary spending for the 43 million people with no health care? Or was it the schools that have closed because state governments no longer have federal help to keep them opening? Or perhaps since we’ve drilled up the conserved land, and relaxed clean air and water restrictions, we can save some money firing all the park rangers.

I oppose amnesty, because it would encourage further illegal immigration, and unfairly reward those who break our laws. My temporary worker program will preserve the citizenship path for those who respect the law, while bringing millions of hardworking men and women out from the shadows of American life.

You see, that’s just what we told the blacks when we brought them here several hundred years ago. But dammit, they wanted something more and in a moment of weakness, we gave it to ‘em. Now we have to find another disposable worker class.

After all, who else can we lock them into stores all night, or make work seven days a week, or kill quickly by spending ten hours a day hunched over pesticide laden crops in 105 degree sun? People in this country think they’re too good for these types of jobs – lazy SOBs.

In January of 2006, seniors can get prescription drug coverage under Medicare. For a monthly premium of about $35, most seniors who do not have that coverage today can expect to see their drug bills cut roughly in half.

I know someone with emphysema, who spends 2000.00 a month on prescription medicine. I bet she’s relieved to know that when she heads toward death, the same medications will only eat 1000.00 a month into the saving she and her husband spent a lifetime building up. Maybe she’ll die while there’s still a little bit left for her husband to live on.

And tonight I propose that individuals who buy catastrophic health care coverage, as part of our new health savings accounts, be allowed to deduct 100 percent of the premiums from their taxes.

Hmm, well you see, this is tricky. The way our tax system works, unless you have several thousands of dollars of tax deductions, they’re pretty useless for lower, or even middle income families.

But you know, your Daddy didn’t know how computer cash registers worked, maybe you don’t know how the tax system works for the rest of us?

So tonight I call on team owners, union representatives, coaches, and players to take the lead, to send the right signal, to get tough, and to get rid of steroids now.

43 million Americans don’t have health coverage, and you’re worried about steroid use? 43 million Americans can’t afford steroids! Isn’t that good enough?

We will double federal funding for abstinence programs, so schools can teach this fact of life: Abstinence for young people is the only certain way to avoid sexually transmitted diseases.

President Bush I have just one question for you: were you a virgin when you married?

The same moral tradition that defines marriage also teaches that each individual has dignity and value in God’s sight.

Dignity and value but not equality or rights, is that it? Mr. President, you’re giving Gays an empty cup and pointing to the desert and telling them to drink deeply from the compassion of your God. I think their mouths are too dry to express their thanks.

By executive order, I have opened billions of dollars in grant money to competition that includes faith-based charities. Tonight I ask you to codify this into law, so people of faith can know that the law will never discriminate against them again.

This is the same billions of dollars that you’ve taken away from institutions that have offered comfort, and food, and support in the past. The only difference is these non-religious organizations offer help without forcing the recipient to accept it on bended knee, or while standing over them while those helped speak hollow words of faith because they are too hungry, or too scared, or too sick, or too young to stand on their dignity.

We can trust in that greater power who guides the unfolding of the years. And in all that is to come, we can know that his purposes are just and true.

May God continue to bless America.

But he isn’t my God, Mr. President. Mr. President, do you hear me? He isn’t my God. We each have the right to pick our own god or gods, and your God isn’t my God.

And you’re not my President.

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