Just Shelley


Recovered from the Wayback Machine.

My father will die today or tomorrow. All that made him what he was died yesterday so for me, he’s dead already and is just waiting for his tired, old body to catch up.

Dad held on to life tenaciously; too tenaciously, as his ending has been neither quick nor without emotional and physical difficulties. My brother and I had to make some very tough decisions, and I have no doubts they’ll come back to haunt us as in the future; they did during the drive home today.

I’ve been by Dad’s side since Friday, only getting sleep Saturday when I came back to St. Louis for a break in the evening and then headed back to Indiana Sunday morning. I knew I was reaching my limit last night, and this morning was told to leave and get sleep by several of the very caring nursing home staff. So, with a prearranged agreement with my brother, I came home, and I won’t be there for my Dad’s last breath; I specifically didn’t want to be. If that makes me selfish, so be it. I shared what was important with Dad yesterday.

I’ve had to let a great deal of work slide this week, and will get back to the sites I’m designing, and the IT Kitchen in a few days. Especially the IT Kitchen–the date for this remains the same, and I plan on doing even more aggressive recruiting next week.

But for the next few days I’m going to take some time, head into the hills, alone, with my new camera.

Dad’s body caught up with his spirit this afternoon.

Print Friendly, PDF & Email