Zero to sixty in ten seconds

Mr. Allan Moult, my friend as well as my boss at Leatherwood Online is celebrating an important birthday tomorrow, tomorrow in this case being May 8th.

Allan is a journalist, photographer, a writer, an editor, and a very interesting person who has traveled more than most people I know. He is also a tireless defender of the natural beauty of Tasmania, and seems most happy when he’s out doors, in the wild he loves so much. As a digital birthday greeting, I thought I would post photos from today’s hike for him, interspersed with some philosophy appropriate to the occasion.

(By the way, today’s hike was several miles over some wicked nasty hills and I hiked it in 90 degree (that’s Blinken’ Hot in Celsius) temperatures. It’s reassuring to people like me and Allan and others of our friends who are no longer young pups, to realize that we’re not getting older, we’re going insane.)

three days climbing
this old heart
goes no further.

Loren Webster

Found on the Net: some ways to know you’re getting older:

1. Everything hurts and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work.
2. The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bi-focals.
3. You feel like the morning after and you haven’t been anywhere.
4. Your little black book contains only names that end in M.D.
5. Your children begin to look middle aged.
6. You finally reach the top of the ladder and find it leaning against the wrong wall.
7. Your mind makes contracts your body can’t meet.
8. You look forward to a dull evening.
9. Your favorite part of the newspaper is “20 Years Ago Today”.
10. You turn out the lights for economic rather than romantic reasons.
11. You sit in a rocking chair and can’t get it going.
12. Your knees buckle, and your belt won’t.
14. You’re 17 around the neck, 42 around the waist, and 95 around the golf course.
15. Your back goes out more than you do.
17. Your Pacemaker makes the garage door go up when you see a pretty girl.
18. The little old gray haired lady you helped across the street is your wife.
19. You sink your teeth into a steak, and they stay there.
20. You have too much room in the house and not enough in the medicine cabinet.
21. You get your exercise acting as a pallbearer for your friends who exercise.
22. You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.

“You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old. ”

George Burns

“Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.”

Groucho Marx

(Though my particular favorite is, “It isn’t necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.”)

“Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.”

Charles Shultz

Crimson flames tied through my ears
Rollin’ high and mighty traps
Pounced with fire on flaming roads
Using ideas as my maps
“We’ll meet on edges, soon,” said I
Proud ‘neath heated brow.
Ah, but I was so much older then,
I’m younger than that now.

Half-wracked prejudice leaped forth
“Rip down all hate,” I screamed
Lies that life is black and white
Spoke from my skull. I dreamed
Romantic facts of musketeers
Foundationed deep, somehow.
Ah, but I was so much older then,
I’m younger than that now.

Girls’ faces formed the forward path
From phony jealousy
To memorizing politics
Of ancient history
Flung down by corpse evangelists
Unthought of, though, somehow.
Ah, but I was so much older then,
I’m younger than that now.

A self-ordained professor’s tongue
Too serious to fool
Spouted out that liberty
Is just equality in school
“Equality,” I spoke the word
As if a wedding vow.
Ah, but I was so much older then,
I’m younger than that now.

In a soldier’s stance, I aimed my hand
At the mongrel dogs who teach
Fearing not that I’d become my enemy
In the instant that I preach
My pathway led by confusion boats
Mutiny from stern to bow.
Ah, but I was so much older then,
I’m younger than that now.

Yes, my guard stood hard when abstract threats
Too noble to neglect
Deceived me into thinking
I had something to protect
Good and bad, I define these terms
Quite clear, no doubt, somehow.
Ah, but I was so much older then,
I’m younger than that now.

My Back Pages by Bob Dylan

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.”

Albert Einstein

“Everyone here who is damn glad you’re no longer 18–madly wave your hand!”

Shelley Powers

Happy Birthday, my friend.

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