Categories
Connecting

Apologies to Doc Searls and friends

My apologies to Doc Searls for defaming his good name with my unwarranted attack upon him, and my injudicious use of “sexist” in reference to his statement.

And I apologize to three fellow webloggers for getting on their case, and asking them, in quite strong terms, to drop this whole thing: Jonathon DelacourMike Golby and Dorothea Salo. I started to indulge in friendship censorship, and that’s wrong. In particular, Jonthon was extremely careful with seeing both points of view on this issue, as well as kind and generous with his understanding of what led me to my remarks; Mike tried to lighten the situation, to find the humor in it; and Dorothea was a staunch defender, of me, of my concerns, and of the principles behind which good debate occurs. Not one of the three deserved me getting in their face about this issue.

Sometimes one gets hurt and lashes out. The only problem with lashing out, though, is people can weary of it, and then one is left alone.

(Doc has a couple of current postings on this, but his permalinks aren’t working so you’ll have to go to his weblog and scroll.)

Categories
Critters

The three boys

Recovered from the Wayback Machine.

I have a cat story to tell you if you’re of a mind to listen. It’s a simple story because cats are, at heart, simple creatures. We exist to serve them, which pretty much puts an end to any issue of complexity.

Many, many years ago, I was living in Tempe Arizona with my soon to be husband who became my ex-husband and is now my best friend who just recently became my platonic room-mate….

Years and years ago I was living in Tempe Arizona with Rob.

At the time, I was working for a real estate company as an office manager, which is really nothing more than a glorified secretary and general do things person. However, my status was somewhat elevated because I had two part time people working direcly for me: a weekend secretary, and Maude.

Maude was at least 103 years old, tiny, hunched, and usually dressed in bright fluorescent polyester pantsuits. She was a chain smoker, and spent the day with a cigarette permanently dangling from her lip. To complete the look, she would change into slippers, nice flip flops, once she got to work. They’re for my bunions, she would tell me as she slipped them on. Since she sat at a desk all day, this wasn’t a problem, but she had to get to the desk first. Watching her walk cross the room was, always, a fascinating experience:

Shuffle, puff. Shuffle, puff. Shuffle…HACK! Hack! Gack! Cough, cough. Weeze. WEEZE! A moment of silence … and then a wry smile and a subtle wink, movement knocking an inch of ash to the ground.

Shuffle, puff. Shuffle, puff.

One day one of the realtors came in talking about a friend of hers having to find a new home for her cat. It would seem, said the realtor, that this friend wasn’t having the easiest time of it; though the cat was a lovely full grown calico female, she was also a few weeks shy of having kittens. If the friend couldn’t find a home soon, the realtor sighed, she would have to take the cat down to the Humane Society.

We called her Mama Kitty, since we weren’t planning on keeping her after the kittens were born and weaned. The plan was to find homes for all the cats as soon as possible because Rob and I just weren’t into having pets at that time. However, Mama Kitty was a wonderful cat. Gentle, quiet, intelligent, affectionate. She was no trouble at all, and we were feeling pretty smug about our humanitarian rescue.

A couple of weeks after she moved in, Mama Kitty came into the bedroom one night meowing at us, trying to get us to follow her into the hallway. We had set up a birthing area in the hallway closet and Mama Kitty was amenable to the location, but, contrary to many of the feline family, she wanted someone there to hold her paw while she gave birth.

We sat in the hall next to the open closet door, murmuring gentle reassurances as she gave birth, one right after the other, to three tiny, ugly little kittens. Really, they were wet, their eyes were closed, and they were all nose. They looked like seals.

The first born was Bootsie, so named because he was a gray tabby with white paws.

The second born was Blackie, so named because he was a solid black.

Finally the third was born, a gray tabby with no distinguishing features. Since we and Mama Kitty were tired, we decided to worry about a name for the third kitten the next day.

We went back to bed and soon to sleep until we were woken by the most awful racket — it sounded like something was killing one of the kittens. We ran out into the hallway and peered into the box containing the cats. Mama Kitty was on her side, eyes half squinted as if the sound of the kitten was hurting her ears. Blackie and Bootsie were each attached to a nipple, contented. However, the little nameless kitten was off to the side, hollering its fool head off because it couldn’t find its way to a nipple.

“Why you stupid little twerp”, I said with some exasperation, and nudged the little guy over until it was next to its mama, his cries soon stilled in favor of happy sucking.

Bootsie, Blackie, and Twerp were quite willing to stay in their box while their eyes were closed. However, once their eyes opened, it was a constant struggle to keep the kittens out of trouble. Bootsie was always getting himself into places he couldn’t get out of, Twerp had a knack for planting himself underneath a foot, and Blackie, well, Blackie was just plain weird.

Blackie didn’t walk, he ran, everywhere. He had small beedy yellow eyes, rusty matted semi-long, semi-short black fur, and looked just like a demented owl. When he wasn’t sleeping or eating, he was constantly engaged in furious, and exhaustion provoking, activity.

To help channel some of that excess energy, we hung a cat toy that came with an elastic band underneath the dining room table, and Blackie would play with the thing for hours. One day, though, Blackie played with the toy too hard and the thing bounced up and wrapped itself around his neck, literally strangling him. He screeched, clawing frantially at the band, bobbing up and down like a Halloween apple. I grabbed him to try and prevent further strangulation, while Rob went running to find a knife to cut the elastic.

Luckily, no lasting harm was done. Or at least, none that we could tell with Blackie.

The kittens grew, rapidly, and were soon ready for their first cat food, of which they seemed to need and want vast amounts frequently throughout the day. I had the evening feeding shift and Rob had the morning, and he would stumble out to the kitchen before the sun rose, opening cans and hastily shoving food on to plates and under the voracious maws.

One day, though, Rob was just a little too slow, and Bootsie, who had become quite strong and agile, took a flying leap and sunk his tiny kitten claws into Rob’s butt. Rob let out a yell and I came running into the kitchen just in time to see him trying to angle his hands around behind himself to grab at this kitten, claws hooked securely into the seat of his pants. To make matters worse, Blackie thought this was great fun so he started climbing Rob’s leg, kitten pitons making short work of the journey, each movement bringing fresh curses to the morning air.

I ran forward to help, prying one kitten paw off then another. However, each time I would free one paw, another would become attached. By now, Blackie had finished his ascent and had joined his brother, claws firmly into the jeans bottoms, and the flesh underneath, having the time of its short kitten life.

Twerp just sat on the floor by the food dishes. And cried.

It was then that we knew we would keep “The Boys”. There’s a special bond that forms when you have a cat hanging from your butt.

Categories
Weblogging

Thanks

Thanks to Dorothea and her defense of my Doc Searls posting. Dorothea touched on what bothered me the most about the reactions to this posting. However, I’ve had my say on the topic; see Mike Golby and Jonathon Delacour if you want to continue this discussion.

Also, thanks to those who read my posting and linked to the Daily Summit World Summit weblog. Regardless of our stand on any one issue, it’s important to at least be informed.

Categories
Weblogging

Stavros has left the building

I was saddened to see my friend Stavros the Wonder Chicken (Chris) take a break, though I understand fully where he’s coming from. I hope his breaks are as short as mine. Or not, if it’s the best thing for him.

Categories
Writing

Silkworm

I am a simple person. When discussions arise as to whether we view ourselves as intellectual, spiritual, or sensual, I come down, heavily, on the side of the senses.

I taste thought with my tongue; I roll debate around my mouth trying to determine when to bite, and when to spit out. I worship with my eyes and my touch. You say God; I say bird song and kitten fur, cool water and lavender.

However, I am not writing this to tell you that I am a simple person. I am writing this to tell you about the book, W.G. Sebald’s The Rings of Saturn.*

When reading Sebald’s book one can be forgiven for, first of all, thinking this was recollection of a true journey. There is a reality to the first person narrative that makes it difficult to believe this is fiction. One could also be forgiven for thinking the book was published decades rather than just years back (discounting the reference to Cherry Coke). The style of writing, the uninhibited richness of phrase, and the faded and seemingly aged photos that accompany the writing all combine to create an aura of a time pre-World War II.

What one could not forgive, though, is calling this book a simple book. It is probably one of the most unusual, intellectual, spiritual, and complex books I have ever read. And this leads to a dilemma: How can I, a self-avowed simple person, hope to have a meaningful discussion of a book so immeasurably complex?

Easily — by discussing it simply.

Beyond a low electric fence lay a herd of almost a hundred head of swine, on brown earth where meagre patches of camomile grew. I climbed over the wire and approached one of the ponderous, immobile, sleeping animals. As I bent towards it, it opened a small eye fringed with light lashes and gave me an inquiring look. I ran my hand across its dusty back, and it trembled at this unwonted touch; I stroked its snout and face, and chucked it in the hollow behind one ear, till at length it sighed like one enduring endless suffering.

…till at length it sighed like one enduring endless suffering. Sebald’s writing can’t help but appeal to the sensualist when you read phrases such as this. I came across several such in the book and had to stop and read each again and again, just to savor the wonderful combination of words, the images they created. Sebald’s writing is strongly sensual, and as such, has much appeal to me.

However, surrounding these phrases is a bewildering stream of consciousness that flows without mercy from subject to seeming unrelated subject, aided and abetted by Sebald’s haphazard introduction of characters both dead and alive. One is ultimately left fearful of missing a connection somewhere along the way and ending up ten pages down the line thinking that the protagonist is speaking when really, it’s the caretaker. And all you can do at that point is realize that you should have read the passage this way, but had read it that way, instead, and this made all the difference in the world.

Ultimately, The Rings of Saturn would have never been anything more to me than a confusing and difficult to read collection of beautiful and unrelated phrases if I hadn’t found the key to the book on page 36.

On this page, when the protagonist tours an aged and famous manor, Somerleyton Hall, he writes in his journal about how much of the earlier splendor of the hall is now gone, lost to fire, age, and neglect. Now, as he walked among the aged and eclectic mementos that filled what was left of the great residence, he ponders his surroundings:

As I strolled through Somerleyton Hall that August afternoon, amidst a throng of visitors who occasionally lingered here and there, I was variously reminded of a pawnbroker’s or an auction hall. And yet it was the sheer number of things, possessions accumulated by generations and now waiting, as it were, for the day when they would be sold off, that won me over to what was, ultimately, a collection of oddities. How uninviting Somerleyton must have been, I reflected, in the days of the industrial impressario Morton Peto, MP, when everything, from cellar to attic, from the cutlery to the waterclosets, was brand new, matching in every detail, and in unremittingly good taste. And how fine a place the house seemed to me now that it was imperceptibly nearing the brink of dissolution and silent oblivion.

And how fine a place the house seemed to me now that it was imperceptibly nearing the brink of dissolution and silent oblivion. The common thread that runs throughout this book is the cycle of life; the old giving way to the new, and the purpose, dignity, and yes, even beauty that can accompany death, which Sebald sees as a metamorphisis for new life. This is born out, again and again, in the writing: When Sebald described the beauty of the funeral for Apollo Korzeniowski, Apollo’s death making way for Apollo’s son, Konrad to achieve greatness; the burned trees of the rainforests making way to civilized order.

Once I had the first key I could then see the second key, the second thread that binds the stories — a thread of silk. Sebald liberally sprinkles references to silk throughout the book, as an adult would sprinkle clues for a child at an Easter Egg hunt.

References to Thomas Browne’s father being a silk merchant; the purple piece of silk in the urn of Patroculus; the silken ropes given to Hsien-feng’s viceroys so that they may hang themselves, an act of benevolence as their sentence decreed that they …be dismembered and sliced into slices.

And towards the end, Sebald writes:

Now, as I write, and think once more of our history, which is but a long account of calamities, it occurs to me that at one time the only acceptable expression of profound grief, for ladies of the upper class, was to wear heavy robes of black silk taffeta or black crepe de chine.

The worm builds its cocoon to continue its cycle of life, its metamorphosis. The worms are killed, and the cocoons are gathered and unwoven, spun into silk. From death arises beauty.

Of course, once I had found keys one and two, the third was trivial to spot. The third and final key to Sebald’s book is the very name of the book, itself: The Rings of Saturn. The rings of Saturn, which are made up of destroyed moons — beauty, based on destruction.

Realizing our association of so much beauty with so much death could lead to madness. And so we return to the beginning of the book, when we meet the protagonist, heard but never seen, as he looks at what’s left of his world through a wire covered window and thinks about the journey that brought him to where he is.

W. G. Sebald’s “The Rings of Saturn”. You must read this book. (Recommended to me by Jonathon Delacour.)

*I discuss much of The Rings of Saturn in this review. If you have not read it, you may consider this review to be a spoiler. I, however, consider it the start to a discussion, or at the least, a sharing of my interest in this book. Use your own judgement as to whether you wish to proceed or not.