Googlewhacker Book

Recovered from the Wayback Machine.

From my Google search referrals, I’m getting people looking for a “googlewhacker book”.

Well, okay, here you go:


1. First, buy a computer

2. Setup the computer

3. Turn on the computer

4. If computer doesn’t come on, call someone. Do not call me.

5. Connect to the Internet. If you need help with this, check with AOL. If you don’t know what the Internet is, check with your local hospital. You’re ill.

6. Once connected, open up a browser. It will be a small ‘e’ on your desktop. If you don’t see it, you’re using Linux or the Mac. If you’re using the Mac, contact Mac help. If you’re using Linux — stop now. You’ll hurt yourself.

7. Type into the browser Address window. It’s the white space. No, not that white space, the smaller one.

8. You’ll get a simple page back with Google on it. Now you have the playing board

9. Type two words into the search edit box on the form. That’s two. T-W-O. Yes, 2. No, don’t type them into the Address box again — into the form on the page itself. Very good.

10. Click the button. The button that says “Google Search”.

11. You’ll get a page back with results. If you get a result set of only one link, in that big white space below, you found a googlewhack!

12. No, a result like this “Your search – fdsfd jmkljkl – did not match any documents.” doesn’t count. You have to get a result with a link.

13. Are you sure there’s only one link. Count it out for me – 1. Very good. You just found a Googlewhack!

14. No, you don’t get a prize for this.

15. No, I didn’t make up the rules. I don’t have any prizes to give you.

16. No, you can’t sue me. Sue Microsoft instead. They have lots of money, and they created the browser you’re using — it’s their fault.

There you have it — your Googlewhacker Book!

Print Friendly, PDF & Email