The ultimate wakeup

I have a task that needs to be finished tomorrow and am most likely going to be working all night, or close to it. The work is such that I can’t do it for many hours in a row, without getting frustrated, so I take breaks–such as the break to work on the new looks for the weblog.

To help me focus tonight, I pulled in the big guns: grande caramel machiotto with four shots instead of two. And Krispy Kreme donuts. The combination of extra caffeine and sugar is guaranteed to keep me going for 24 hours; after that, I’m a goner.

As effective as my ultimate solution is, a problem with it is that the strangest things enter my head when I’m so buzzed. For instance, I came this close to naming the Fire & Ice stylesheet Burningberg.

And have you noticed how slow everyone drives on Sundays? The roads haven’t changed, but you always end up behind some SUV or mini-van, with a couple of kids in the back, poking along at five miles under the speed limit. The rest of the week, Mom or Dad will haul butt down the road, but not Sundays.

I figured what happens is the family goes to church on Sunday and sings a rousing chorus of “Nearer my God to thee”; all the way home they think to themselves, “Nearer my God to thee…but not today! Nothing like church to remind you of your own mortality.

I also noticed today, when I went to get another cup of coffee, that you can tell an older man’s political affiliation by their hair and what they wear. You can’t always tell with a woman – well, unless she’s wearing heels and black leather and carrying a whip, and even then the same lady can be dressed in a demure cotton frock on Sundays. And you can’t tell with guys under, say 30-40. But guys over 40, sure enough.

Liberal guys almost always wear a beard. It’s gotten to the point when I see an older guy with a beard, I immediately think, “Yup, liberal”.

If they’re extremely liberal, they might also have long hair worn in a pony tail, though you have to be careful with pony tails – lots of real conservative folks in the back country of Missouri have long pony tails. Still, if you live in the coastal areas, or in most cities, the length of the pony tail gives away the degree of liberalness. That and the amount of cotton and natural fibers they wear. Wearing a button that says, “Anyone but Bush in 2004″ tends to give this away, too.

Now, conservative men keep their faces shaved as smooth as a baby’s butt–unless they’re a college professor or on the lecture circuit or in journalism, in which case they wear the beard as protective coloration. I wonder if this is a consequence of economics? Upper management in major western corporations haven’t worn beards since the 1800’s.

The extremely conservative men have a pinched look to their faces, as if they smell something bad all the time. Don’t have to believe me – just take a look at the current administration.

As for the libertarians? They wear black. Even when wearing white, they wear black. Oh, and sometimes they carry a gun.

Of course religion and culture and nationality and economics and education and marital status and personal choice changes all of this. And so does access to a razor.

I think I need to go get another coffee. And a Key Lime Krispy Kreme donut to go wwwwwwiiiiiiittttttthhhhhh iiiiitttt.

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