Categories
Books

Subtle touch

I finished W.G. Sebald’s book Austerliz this weekend, having read it slowly over the last month. There is something about Sebald’s writing that forces me to stop, and consider, carefully, what he writes on each page. The writing isn’t complex; quite the opposite – it’s beautifully, wonderfully clear. But it is rich, and subtle; conjuring images meant to be examined carefully as one examines each turn of a kaleidoscope.

This isn’t a book review as I have no interest in ‘reviewing it’. I’ll just share a tiny bit of it.

But I always found what Alphonso told us about the life and death of moths especially memorable, and of all creatures I feel the greatest awe of them. In the warmer months of the year one or other of these nocturnal insects quite often strays indoors from the small garden behind my house. When I get up early in the morning, I find them clinging to the wall, motionless. I believe, said Austerlitz, they know they have lost their way, since if you do not put them out again carefully they will stay where they are, never moving, until the last breath is out of their bodies, and indeed they will remain in that place where they come to grief even after death, held fast by the tiny claws that stiffened in their last agony, until a draft of air detaches them and blows them into a dusty corner.

If, as writers, we learn from other writers then Sebald is my preferred teacher. I want to incorporate what I learn from reading and re-reading his few works into my own writing. Not the actual writing, and not even the style of writing, which is distinctly W. G. Sebald. But his ability to move the reader from image to image, each invoking, initially, the most delicate of response. Never once does Sebald demand anything from the reader. He is subtle, far too subtle for that. It is this subtlety that I want to learn.

Categories
Just Shelley

Two words

Poison ivy.

Categories
Burningbird

Domain names up for grabs

I have several domain names coming up for renewal and I’m letting them go. I thought I would list them and their renewal expiration date in someone might be interested in any of them (not that I think you would be – domains tend to be fairly personal):

solarlily.com – 4/21/2003
threadneedle.org – 6/27/2003
evilwoman.org – 4/1/2003
mirrorself.com – 5/26/2003
dynamicearth.com – 5/17/2003
yasd.com – 4/9/2003
netjetter.com – 4/19/2003

I’ve used a couple of these for years – yasd.com and dynamicearth.com. This means you would get 404 hits for these items. This also means you’d have a built-in audience if you focus the domains on the affiliated subjects: yasd.com is computer and internet technology, while dynamicearth.com is earth sciences and the environment.

I’m willing to transfer ownership before expiration if I can do so without any cost on my part.

Categories
Just Shelley

Unemployment insurance—oh yeah

Recovered from the Wayback Machine.

One bit of good news is that I was able to successfully file for unemployment insurance in California last week, and I’ll be able to pay for, among other things, my car. Being able to keep Golden Girl was rather important to me.

I’ve been an independent author/contractor for years, which means I don’t really have jobs that ‘end’, so filing for unemployment is not something I’ve ever done. However, technically, I wasn’t self-employed. I was working for my own corporation, and as part of the fees I paid yearly, I paid unemployment insurance. When I closed the corporation in California because of lack of work, technically, I laid myself off.

I used California’s terrific online unemployment system to file for unemployment last week, was determined to be eligible within a day, and have already turned in my first claim.

You might think me brain dead for not filing before now, but you have to remember that I’ve had my corporation for years, and while I had it I was technically employed. Filing required a change in mindset for me. And, to be honest, I thought I would find work by now.

A bit of humor entered into the process when I, as President of Burning Bird Enterprises, Inc. received a letter from EDD in California asking me to confirm that I, as employee, was laid off last year due to lack of work. I should have responded with a note saying I didn’t lay myself off; I fired myself for insubordination.

Or was it sexual harassment?

Categories
Just Shelley

Cruising

I rarely drive at night, but tonight, as the sun started to set, I wanted nothing more than to get out of the house and on to the road. The weather was summer warm today, being pushed by last winter’s breath tonight. I hoped into Golden Girl, rolled down the windows, turned the radio to a good station and just started driving. No where in particular. Away from the city. Away from the people.

Traffic’s always light early here — all the good people are at home, settled down at dinner table or in front of the television. Most likely they were catching up with the day’s news as I started the drive. The ultimate reality show. Survivors: Showdown in Baghdad.

My hair whipped about and into my face. I’ve let it get a bit long and normally I’ll keep it pulled back if I have the window down; otherwise I end up with a curly mess. Tonight, though, it felt good to have my hair flying about as I sped up, turning corners, feeling the leather of the steering wheel slip softly through my hands.

My elbow rested on the open window and my head rested on my hand, but I wasn’t dreaming. I was aware of my surroundings, keeping a lookout for tiny eyes lit up by the lights. My little bubble on wheels, she drives a treat when you get her out of the city. Hugs the road as if she’s found her long lost lover.

On the radio, Creed’s One Last Breath starts playing:

Please come now I think I’m falling
I’m holding to all I think is safe
It seems I found the road to nowhere
And I’m trying to escape
I yelled back when I heard thunder
But I’m down to one last breath
And with it let me say
Let me say

Hold me now
I’m six feet from the edge and I’m thinking
That maybe six feet
Ain’t so far down

I’m looking down now that it’s over
Reflecting on all of my mistakes
I thought I found the road to somewhere
Somewhere in His grace
I cried out heaven save me
But I’m down to one last breath
And with it let me say
Let me say

Hold me now
I’m six feet from the edge and I’m thinking
That maybe six feet
Ain’t so far down

Sad eyes follow me
But I still believe there’s somthing left for me
So please come stay with me
‘Cause I still believe there’s something left for you and me
For you and me
For you and me

Hold me now
I’m six feet from the edge and I’m thinking.