Burningbird

Now that the house purchase is a done deal (I don’t expect problems with loan), time to explore the differences between homes in Savannah, versus homes in Missouri.

TL;DR it’s like they’re on different planets.

Almost every home in Missouri has a basement. You get so used to it that home sizes such as 1270 don’t bug you, because you know you’ll have a basement of almost equal size.

Coastal Georgia homes do not have basements. Ever. Forever and ever. If you go to dig a basement, you’ll strike water.

Because there are no basements, do you know where hot water heaters are frequently located?

In the attic. In the friggen attic. Our home has both heat pump innards and hot water heater in the attic. Well, until we either replace it with a tankless hot water heater, or relocate that puppy to the garage.

In Missouri, every home has gutters and every Missourian constantly frets about their gutters. Why? Missourians live in constant dread of water around the house. The reason for this is Missouri is primarily clay and limestone. And clay. A drop of water is grabbed by the soil and held until next July. And all of it wants your basement.

In Savannah, few homes have gutters. If they have anything, it’s these wing things that direct water away from doors to the side, but no one gives a damn if there’s a swimming pool right next to the house. And the reason for this is the soil here is sand. In Savannah, we’re living on the world’s largest beach. Two inches of rain can fall in three seconds, and five seconds later, it’s all wicked away.
(Or evaporated into the air, so that every time you walk outside, your glasses fog over.)

In Missouri, homes don’t tend to have a lot of geegaws and frufrus, especially middle income homes. What you see, is what you get: typically a ranch, with a porch, and a deck. And maybe a flat lawn.

In Savannah, a significant number of homes have faux gables. These are little roof peaks with fake windows that are supposed to add curb appeal. Our new home actually has one, but thankfully it’s hidden by a good, honest tree.

And all the homes we’ve seen in Georgia have some variation of popcorn ceiling. Every single one. The home we bought is the only one that didn’t have a popcorn ceiling. I don’t know if that was a leading reason why it appealed to me, but it didn’t hurt. I don’t know why homes in this area rarely have smooth drywall. I suspect it must be something to do with the weather. In Missouri, popcorn ceilings will be the death of your home sale.

Trey ceilings. Georgians love their trey ceilings. True, many Missouri homes have trey ceilings, but here in Georgia, I’ve seen rooms that have trey ceilings stacked three levels high. Can you imagine painting the thing?

Lastly, grass. Missourians obsess over their lawns. They’ll stand at their property line and jaw about the mixture of seed making up their lawn until you’re ready to chew your own ear off to get away.

In Savannah, the grass is a tough old bastard that laughs at the sun. And you.

Oh, and azaleas can bloom at Christmas.