Categories
Technology

A story of Cane and Able and the browser that rode a chariot

Back in the early days of the web, there were two browsers. For the sake of our story, we’ll call them “Cane” and “Able”.

Cane and Able could do many of the same things: serve web pages, run scripts, display pictures, and provide for interaction among the Small Beings who became dependent on them. However, Cane did something that Able couldn’t: it rode a mighty chariot and because of this, could replicate itself at will and did so, willy nilly, until one couldn’t go to the marketplace without Cane appearing in front of you. Able, though a solid performer, didn’t have this ability, and over time it fell further and further back into the shadows cast by Cane’s light.

Eventually, Cane grew arrogant with its power, and begin to do things that Able couldn’t, or wouldn’t, do. It demanded that the world change to suit it, rather than it having to suit the world. It broke laws, and then laughed with impunity at the Small Beings who protested. It’s ways played havoc and soon the world fell into a chaos of incompatibility–with little buttons appearing on web pages, each announcing the page’s allegiance: either to Able, or to Cane.

Web page developers wailed and gnashed their teeth at Cane’s cruelty; forced to don sack cloth and smear themselves with ashes as they took up the weight of the cross-browser; herded into this burden by the demands of a world seemingly mesmerized by a spinning blue orb and people who jumped about like monkeys.

Cane was content, for a time, with this devotion–tossing a crumb now and again to the masses as reward; exciting them anew and pushing poor Able away until, finally, exhausted and depleted of resources, Able succumbed to its fates and entered a dark and vast void, to fade away until few remembered its name. Cane, then, was left alone–to stand on a hill and look around it and gloat in its power.

The world, also, was content with Cane’s dominance. Content, that is, until Cane, satiated by feeding on the souls of millions, fell into a somnolence; leaving the Small Beings to pick their way through, however they could, the debris of its passing.

Dark Things came out of the night and plagued the Small Beings. Things that tore at them and took from them and left them dressed in tattered rags. The Small Beings were sore afraid, and shivering in their nakedness, cried softly among themselves and wondered if there could be any to save them.

But all was not lost. Among the ashes of Able’s passing, a new hope was rising–the child of Able. This child was weak at first, as all children are. It moved slowly about gathering strength until finally, one day, the world became aware of its movements. As the child of Able grew, it cast light into the shadows on the land, and the people basked in its gentle warmth, smiled at is kindly tickling.

The Small Beings then turned an eye to the dark unmoving Mass that was Cane and cried out, “What have you done to us?” “Why have you forsaken us?” But Cane was too lost in sleep to waken, to indifferent to the puny cries of those whose only purpose was to service it, and the chariot it rode.

Able heard, though, and reached out to succor the people, to give them hope. Soon, many of the world were turned away from the spinning blue orb to feast on a new vista–one based on the fire of re-birth rather than the despair of old, cold greed.

This Small Being and that Small Being woke from their dreamless night and embraced the fire, and Able grew in numbers until one day, Cane was moved to awaken and when it looked about itself, grew alarmed at the loss of those who would worship it. “This will never do”, it thought to itself, and begin anew to weave a web to draw back in those who would drift away.

It appeared before the masses as a humbled shell of its former self, and begged forgiveness for past abuse. It promised to do better, to not break the laws, to bring about nothing but goodness. It even embraced this child of its own nemeses, this new Able, and promised to work as brethren rather than adversaries.

Still, the people were reluctant to embrace this, their old overlord. They remembered the too many years of darkness and confusion and were hesitant to believe in Cane’s newfound humility. Desperate to find a hook with which to lure the Small Beings back, Cane looked about and spotted a mob within the masses, a noisy mob that pretended to great power and felt a strange form of kinship with this mob. “These are as like to me as no other”, Cane thought. It also noticed that the mob waved a flag above its head, a flag that looked as follows:

“Aha!”, it thought to itself. “If I were to wave this flag, too, all my past ills will be forgotten and I will be as beloved as I once was before I abandoned these Small Beings to their fate.” So Cane grabbed the flag and waved it most strenuously and cried out its joy in the Cause and its promise of adherence to all that was righteous in the land. And many of the people looked on from their commune with 864 others of their kind and saw that this was good.

Times had changed, though, in the aeons since Cane slept. Though the new Cane was lithesome in many eyes, others noticed that it still rode a chariot where other browsers walked. More, this was a new chariot: one that was wider and taller and more massive and as such, could not reach into the places where once it had traveled. Because Cane rode this new chariot, many of its followers would be left in the dark when it finally arose into the sky.

Those that noticed this questioned why this was so and Cane, puzzled, could only reply that it had to ride this chariot in order to be safe. Many nodded, of course–Cane had to ride the chariot in order to be safe.

But, questioned those naysayers, those irritants, those not with the program: could not Cane learn to walk as other browser do? Walk and still be safe? Walk, like the child of Able can walk? Walk, like Able’s friends, the songster and the lion? Walk so that all may share it’s glory?

Cane just laughed, and the sound was as of a thousand coins of gold rained down from the heavens. Many heard the laughter, and felt comforted. Others, though, knew Cane for what it was: the same Cane as old, only polished, shiny and new.

Categories
Weather

Cheery weather forecasts

From Weather Underground today:

January 2006 will go into the record books as one of the warmest
januarys ever recorded in parts of the Midwest. In Quincy
Illinois… this past January was the warmest January on
record… while in Columbia and St. Louis this January ranks in the
top 5 warmest januarys.

Specifically…

St. Louis…
third warmest January on record
average temperature… 42.3 degrees… 12.7 degrees above normal.

Yet lest we feel smug:

It should be noted that historically… a warm January does not
necessarily mean a warm February. And… it does not mean the threat
of snow is minimized. For instance… after the 7th warmest January
in St. Louis… (1914)… near 29 inches of snow fell during February
and March.

Categories
Stuff

For my little duckies

Last time you get lava lamp photos, my little duckies. In celebration of that fact, a few links and other assorted non-lava lamp related items:

Sheila Lennon points us to a Providence Journal presentation honoring Martha and Waitsill Sharp, the 2nd and 3rd Americans named to Israel’s “Righteous Among the Nations” for their work in helping Jews flee the Nazis in World War II.

Congratulations to Ethan Johnson on the launch of Vision Monthly, an online magazine with writings by various webloggers.

The Blogher web site has undergone a change in both appearance and focus. It now features columns by webloggers, including Jeneane from AlliedMelinda from Sour Duck, and Anne from Anne 2.0.

I’m still unsure that creating separate group weblogs for women and a separate weblogging conference focused on women is the way to achieve equality among the sexes in weblogging, but many of the people involved are having a wonderful time and perhaps in the end that’s all that matters. So best of luck to the Blogher folks on their newest well organized efforts.

That resounding *pop* you heard recently was because Google fall down and go boom. What does this mean? Hopefully it means the end of all the built to flip crap we’ve been subjected to recently. Oh, and I found this story over at google.memeorandum.com.

Scott Reynen has created a fun new game based on the Flickr API: Fastr. Guess that tag and go to the head of the pack.

I am not a game player, but I like Scott’s effort. To keep things even, when you play against the group the points go back to zero when a new ‘game’ starts, so anyone can join in and not feel frustrated about trying to keep up. And it’s interesting to see how people tag different things. Some of the topics are easy to guess; others, though, make me wonder what goes through people’s minds when they tag their photos.

Though not as fun or imaginative, I like my own Flickr-based game: the Flick-a-Pair photo matching game (as primitive as it is by today’s Ajax standards). It’s not the game that appeals, though it does help the memory and lord knows my memory could use help. No, it’s the convergence of photos that occur from time to time. Most often when I play the game, it’s a hodge podge of photos, none of which stand out over much. Every once in a while, though, I get a mix that makes me wish I could capture the photo grouping, as is and keep them forever.

Recently I had one of those. I played the 6 x 6 game and all the photos were either dark red ties with varying conservative white diagonal lines in multiple poses against a black background; or two chihauhaus, brightly lit by flash, laughing into the camera.

A few days ago I pointed to a Slashdot article covering the giant octopus attacking the mini-sub. I mentioned how the granddaddy Slashdot can still hold its own against new babies like Digg. Susan Mernit pointed to a Thomas Hawke article on the traffic he gets from the three big flow engines: Slashdot, Boing Boing, and Digg. He mentions that Digg is catching up when it comes to flow, and talks about how Digg recently joined some new network called FM Media. I confess that I have absolutely no idea what “FM Media” is, but I look at Digg comments compared to those of Slashdot and I don’t think that Slashdot has much to worry about. There is such a thing as quality over quantity.

Still, at Digg I did find out about Geek Logic’s Image Browser for the Mac, which is rather fun to use. It’s not Adobe’s Lightroom, which I’ve already decided to buy when it releases (wonderful product). But it is free, and fun, and that makes a good combination. And look: it’s found all my lava light photos.

Which, for your sakes, I am not publishing.

You can thank me anytime.

Categories
Critters

Octopi goodies

The joy of being known for one’s interest in cephlapods is that one gets links to all sorts of interesting stories.

A friend who walks among us, cloaked as King Henry did among his men before battle, sent me a link to a weblog post with a link to a story about a giant octopus attacking a mini-submarine. This joins with other recent video showing us much of what was previously unseen in the depths of the ocean waters, such as the recent first recording of a live, giant squid. According to one marine biologist, the reason the octopus may have approached the mini-sub is that it was old and senile, and either thought the vehicle was food or a mate.

And you all thought we had little in common with the octopus.

The original story didn’t have video, and when I searched for it, I found a Slashdot thread on the story.

For all the 2.0ness of Digg, it will never match Slashdot when the Slashdotters are in their stride, and this thread demonstrates this. Almost immediately, one commenter provided links to the video. Others than built on the story, most humorously. My favorite is the following:

Look.

Do you know how fucking big a sperm whale is? It’s huge. HUGE. And giant squid eat them. Listen to your heart – no matter what the scientists tell you, 4th grade ecology has convinced us all that whales are intelligent loving animals. Did you see Star Trek 4 [imdb.com]. They’re the freakin’ saviours of humanity man.

And giant squid eat them

Eat them

Not beacause it’s easy. Oh no, not because a sperm whale is an easy catch. Big, remember? No. It’s because squid are evil incarnate

Do you know how long they’ve been down there? No one does. But my guess is the squid and it’s precurser have been down there in the depths for a lot longer than man has been knucklewalking. That’s old. And you know they think down there. Brood down there. Their tentacles floating like the limbs of children relaxing in the water, they brood and wonder how to conquer us from below.

Things that think and brood also dream. And things that dream begin to worship the stuff of dreams. Out of man’s insecurity we have sublimated a great father figure into the sky, according to Freud. What about the tentacled things in the watery darkness, whose females are larger than their males?

I’ll tell you what they worship

A great multilimbed mother of the dark watery brood. Deep down in the very molten cracks of the earth filling the sea with inky blackness. THAT’s what they worship. We killed men in the crusades. Men who looked the same as other men. What will the dark octupi and squid do to US who are mere flabby bloodsacks to rip apart and drink out fluids with their beaky maws? What in the name of their Dark Mother goddess will they do to us when they rise into our airy realm?

Think about it dudes

Us computer geeks are basically fucked.

Categories
Weblogging

Weblogging is not tech

Recovered from the Wayback Machine.

Weblogging is not ‘tech’.

Weblogging uses technology, but is not, in and of itself, ‘technology’. Weblogging conferences are not technology conferences — not unless the focus of the conference is building software, not using it.

When you’re a weblogger, this doesn’t mean you’re a ‘tech’. You might be both a tech and a weblogger; you might be interested in tech; you might write about tech. But using weblogging software, or having a weblog, is not ‘tech’.

You can have an opinion on technology, and should be encouraged to have an opinion on technology, but this doesn’t make you a tech. I am interested in DRM and copyright, and I’ve not been shy about having an opinion on either, but that does not make me a lawyer.

If you’re anything when you’re a weblogger, you’re a writer. Or a photographer. Or perhaps even a pain in the butt (several hands raise). But you’re not a tech, not unless you do more with technology than use a weblogging tool.

Just getting this off my chest. Weblogging is not tech.