Categories
Diversity

Expectations not met

Yesterday came and went and nothing from O’Reilly about my Emerging Technology Conference proposal, which signals that it wasn’t accepted. Yes, I am disappointed, as I thought the idea was interesting and even rather fresh–a variation on the all too common discussions on protocol and how one can market one’s new concept that seem to occur with growing frequency at tech conferences.

I had written something yesterday about this and pulled it because I thought afterwards that it was a bit too much feeling sorry for myself. I don’t want to indulge in a bout of ‘poor me’, but I do have to seriously reconsider the time that I devote to technology efforts, in particular those related to the semantic web and metadata, if the work I do continues to generate little interest.

In particular, I wonder at the level of respect I’ve earned within the technical circles, particularly those with ties into the weblogging community. Very few people have commented favorably on my Practical RDF book at Amazon and elsewhere, and I have to accept the fact that the book has been a disappointment to those who wanted something else. This was a lot of work to have little notice paid, other than the reviews, each of which finds some new area of the book to fault.

I should network, because this an enormous influence on acceptance of your work. I would like to travel to conferences to network with others of same interest, but I do not work for a company or university that would foot this bill. Another hinderance is where I live: Missouri colleges are very good, but not known for their semantic web efforts, and the location isn’t close to centers of such activity.

As for networking online, well, I’m not known for the number of people who would want to claim me as friend on their various networks. I can be critical and it doesn’t take an especially acute intelligence to notice that those who are not, particularly among the women, get more frequent opportunities in technology. Do I resent this? If the women have invested time in the technical field, or demonstrate skills related to their opportunities, no. If the women’s career shows they’ve invested little time in the field, or evidence no demonstrable skills in technology, yes.

The lack of acceptance of the ETech proposal follows closely on another opportunity that ended up not being an opportunity. As I wrote yesterday in the pulled post, when I answered a request for tech help on a project, only to find that another person was asked to head the metadata effort and my help was more in the line of ‘aiding communication between the project manager and the developers’, I begin to wonder: is there any faith in my technical abilities? After all these years and all this talk of metadata and technology and providing samples and tips and help and code, my role was seen more in the nature of helping to write up requirements.

This was really very discouraging. What’s worse is I don’t know if it was more in the nature of me being a woman, or in me being me.

In my many writings on women and tech, many people have responded that all it will take for more women entering technology is us making the decision to do so. However, these folk don’t understand what it’s like to sit on a Monday morning, disappointed at missing out on another technology opportunity, and not knowing if it was because your work wasn’t a fit; your proposal wasn’t good enough; the company doesn’t like you because you’ve bitched too much about them–or it was nothing more than an accident of genetics before you’re even born.

I do know one thing: rather than add to my confidence in my technical abilities, the interactions I’ve experienced in weblogging have undermined much of it, to the point where I am ready to drop over twenty years of training and experience and interest, in hopes I can pick up another career at the complicated age of 50.

Categories
Photography

Enough with the

Recovered from the Wayback Machine.

…babble, let me tell you about the new toys I’m thinking of buying.

I’ve decided that if I am going to seriously pursue photography, then I need to invest in the equipment to hopefully build some decent portfolios. One such is to get a Wacom tablet to use for both drawing and work on photography; another is to get a decent photo printer.

I started looking at the Epson Stylus 300, but ended up drawn to the higher end products: the Epson Stylus 2200, and the Canon i9900. The two seem to be the top contenders, from comparison reviews I found online.

I think I’m going with the Canon, not the least of which it’s cheaper, and the 2200 is being replaced. And the Epson print heads are a problem. Canon paper isn’t as cheap and available, but I gather that Epson paper can work for the most part.

I have to be careful with this expenditure, and make the best choices. Whatever printer I go with will have to last a good long while.

Categories
Stuff

Games

Yesterday I spent the day burning CDs of my photos on my Windows machine, in preparation of reformatting the hard drive and givng the computer to my roommate. I ended up offloading over ten gigs of photos, which is a lot of pictures. I imagine I should have been backing all the work up to this point, because what would have happened if the hard drive had crashed? Why, I would have had to go out and take more photos. The horror of it.

I also spent time finding and downloading new games for my freshly re-formatted PowerBook. Not a variety of games: one game, with several different implementations. The only game I play is Mah Jong solitaire, which resembles the original Mah Jong tile game in the use of the tiles, but little else.

I don’t like games. I used to at one time, and had a collection of popular board games and learned to play most card games (but not Bridge) and even played Chess, though I wasn’t very good at it. I enjoyed play pool, and wasn’t half bad at this. I also enjoyed pinball and would spend hours playing Pong and Frogger when these appeared in my favorite pub.

(I would probably still be tempted with an oldtime frogger game, if you place one in front of me.)

Somewhere along the way, though, I lost interest in games. I do not like role playing games, and when my neighbor tried to interest me in these in college, about the only thing I liked about it was the pretty dice. If I went to Vegas, I wouldn’t gamble — no, not even to put one coin in a slot. I’d enjoy seeing the architecture more than anything, or perhaps watching the people.

What’s odd about this is that gaming and programming have long gone hand in hand, and it’s assumed that if you’re interested in software or development, you’re also interested in games. But once I programmed my first game online, a silly little tic-tac-toe written in old VAX Basic, I soon lost interest in gaming and computers.

I’ve been given beautiful computer games, which I try only once. I’ve watched others talk about their MUD (Multiple User Dungeon) experiences and I’ve thought wistfully that they sound like they’re having fun, but not fun enough to join.

Does this make me sound dull as dishwater? Like the cook that commands dozens of dessert recipes, all of which start with “…create a basic, vanilla custard”?

But I like solitaire Mah Jong. Currently I’m trying out three shareware versions of the game for the Mac: Super Mah Jong, which provides interesting layouts; Aki Mahjong, which is really quite a lovely gameboard; and Burning Monkey Mahjong Solitaire, which has a rather interesting, and subtly sophisticated “Boss is Coming!” option.

“Waiting for inspiration…”

“Fearing change…”

I’ll be trying out other variations this week before I settle on the ones I want to license — there are dozens of variations of the game.

There is no real trick associated with playing Mah Jong solitaire, it’s the most uncomplicated of games. The key to playing is never focus on the tiles that can’t be matched. That’s what usually trips you: you’ll find your eyes drawn to the prettier, more colorful tiles; or you start to play on one specific pattern, only to discover you had found the wrong match. From this point on, though, you can’t keep your eyes off these tiles and you miss the pieces that can be played.

If you really master the game, and this is more difficult than it would first seem, your play becomes smoothly rewarding; your moves confident, and progressing without many hesitations or pauses.

I treat solitaire Mah Jong more in the nature of a focus stone to play with while I work things through rather than as a game–somewhat like worry beads or the Catholic rosary. The fact that I’m downloading multiple versions of the game tells me that I have many things to work through.

Categories
Just Shelley Photography

In Memoria

I had finally gone through all of Dad’s books and decided which to keep, and which to give away. I called the library, but they weren’t accepted any new book donations until April.

The lady I talked to asked what kind of books they were. I said they were mainly mystery and detective novels. She suggested I call the local Veterans hospital and see if they could use them.

The hospital said they’d be grateful for the donation, and I went down to drop them off at the Jefferson Barracks Medical Clinic. The weather was fine today, and the place was very pretty with the old barracks buildings and their peeling paint. I asked the person who helped me unload the books if I could take pictures, but she I better not — the place is also the local Homeland Security office.

The hospital is right next to the National Cemetary and I stopped by it to take photos. There were several funerals underway in various places and I could, from time to time, hear the faint echo of shots being fired.

It never fails to move me to see the row after row of white gravestones, especially so soon after my own father’s death. I was grateful for the camera, because through it I could view everything dispassionately. I managed fine up until I heard the single trumpet playing Taps.

cemetary stones

Categories
Connecting

Comment spamming and ultimate solutions

The comment spammers now seem indifferent as to whether their comments show up or not. Their (or I should say ‘his’ since it’s one known person) behavior is more in the nature of a malicious act than anything else now.

Good comments are now ending up in my moderation queue solely because the spammers hit so much they trigger the throttle. At this time I’m putting in controls that close a post down for comments if it’s over ten days old. No more moderation queue, which disappoints me.

This is a high priority item in Wordform — to come up with a solution to the comment spam problem without closing out good comments, and without blacklists that can be fooled into blocking on good sites, and without registration. If I do come up with a solution, will you all crown me Queen for a Day?

In the meantime, I have to just shut the door on past posts.