Categories
Political

How to talk like a pyrate

Ye be a sorry lot and not a True Pyrate amongst ye! Me thinks it’s because ye can’t talk like a pyrate. How can ye be a True Pyrate if ye can’t talk like one, I says to meself.

A few lessons in how to Talk like a Pyrate for the Pyrate Impaired:

From Maritime Pirates

Cackle Fruit – hen’s eggs

Hempen Halter – hangman’s noose

Nelson’s Folly – rum

Run a rig – play a trick

Dick Cheney:

“There has been significant success in putting Iraq back together again. … Most of Iraq is stable and quiet.”

From Pyrate Talk:

To Go on Account – a pleasant term used by pyrates to describe the act of turning pyrate. The basic idea was that a pyrate was more “free lance” and thus was, more or less, going into business for himself.

Take a Caulk – on deck of a ship, between planks, was a thick caulk of black tar and rope to keep water from between decks. This term came to mean to “take a nap” either because sailors who slept on deck ended up with black lines across their backs or simply because sailors laying down on deck were as horizontal as the caulk of the deck itself.

Quarter – deriving from the idea of “shelter”, quarter was given when mercy was offered by the pyrates. To give no quarter was to indicate that none would be spared. Quarter was often the prize given to an honourable loser in a pyrate fight. If enraged, however, a pyrate would deprive the loser any such luxury.

Rumsfeld:

“In that instance, we had been in the country for about 15 seconds; sometimes I overstate for emphasis …. I should have said, ‘I believe they’re in that area’” around Tikrit and Baghdad.’”

From The Olympian:

Aye, aye: “I’ll get right on that sir, as soon as my break is over.”

Arr: “Yes,” “I agree,” “I’m happy,” “I’m enjoying this beer,” “My team is going to win it all,” “I saw that television show, it sucked!” and “That was a clever remark you or I just made.”

Beauty: The best possible pirate address for a woman. Always preceded by “me,” as in “C’mere, me beauty” or even “me buxom beauty.”

Lubber: This is short for landlubber and is the seaman’s version of land lover, mangled by typical pirate disregard for elocution.

Ashcroft:

“(The government)…should be looking for ways to improve the safety and security of American liberty.”

From The Pirate’s Realm:

Avast – “Avast Ye!” from the Dutch term for ‘hold fast’ and means “Stop and pay attention.”, like, “Get a load of this.”

Black Spot – a death threat among pirates made of a black spot or mark on a scrap of paper with more specific detail sometimes written on the other side, referred to in the story, Treasure Island.

Black Jack – large drinking cups made of leather that were made stiffer with an application of tar

Bumboo – A drink of the West Indies made with watered rum and flavored with sugar and nutmeg

President Bush:

Two years ago, I told the Congress and the country that the war on terror would be a lengthy war, a different kind of war, fought on many fronts in many places. Iraq is now the central front. Enemies of freedom are making a desperate stand there – and there they must be defeated. This will take time and require sacrifice. Yet we will do what is necessary, we will spend what is necessary, to achieve this essential victory in the war on terror, to promote freedom and to make our own nation more secure.

Arrr.

More on how to talk like a pirate and the upcoming presidential candidates at Salt Lake City Tribune. Tis a fine group of privateers.
Categories
Stuff

Avast Ye!

Ahoy ye blackguards and scallywags! Today be Talk Like a Pyrate Day! And to fill ye’r sorry lives, we three – Elaine, The Kalilily Queen, Jeneane, The Sword of the Marketeer, and meself, Flaming Bird, the Songster – will bring ye tales to make ye’r blood run hot, and ye’r spine run cold.

After all, we Women of the Sea can’t leave this day to the likes of AKMA, The Captain of the Skull and Cross, or David, The Prince of the PoMo Seas, now can we?

Bring ye Nelson’s Folly and heave-to, or we’ll have to keelhaul ye!

Arrrr!

jolly roger bandana.jpg

Categories
Insects Photography Places

Madame Butterfly

The next month, from the middle of September until the middle of October, is the most beautiful time of the year in Missouri. The weather has cooled and the humidity dropped, and a slight breeze blows most days to keep the sky clean, and clear. The trees are in their richest green, their end of summer finery; next week they’ll become tipped with golds and oranges and scarlet as Fall begins.

Today there was a huge hot air balloon race at Forest Park, which I had planned on attending to continue my quest to find perfect photos for a perfect portfolia. However, this morning I looked out my window at a perfect day and had no interest in fighting a crowd of tens of thousands for glimpses of bright material reflected in the sun. I headed to the Shaw Arboretum, instead, bad girl that I am.

At the lake where I normally park, there were two wedding parties wondering about — fluffs of white dress and colorful satin and chiffon, with men in black tuxes or well ironed khaki. One group was in the midst of a 3:00 wedding, and the other group in a pre-wedding photo shoot. Both ceremonies were unpretentious, with guests sitting in plain folding white chairs and a simple stand acting as alter. No need for ribbons and bows and hot house flowers when you stand under a canopy of Cypress, backed by saphire blue waters. For a magical touch, I could see several butterflies fluttering about during the earlier wedding. No amount of prestige, of cut stone and stained glass, can beat butterflies circling about as you exchange vows with someone you love.

I hadn’t been out to Shaw for sometime and was amazed at the height of the grasses and flowers in the wild flower garden. The air was filled with butterflies and bees and other insects and as I walked between two fields filled with flowers I could hear a constant hum and buzz, as if I were a late arrival at church and the congregation made note of my tardiness.

I had both my digital and my film camera and I had forgotten how satisfying is the feel my old Nikon, the heaviness of it and its fit within my hand, as well as the quality of the lens. Since the butterflies were kind enough to stop and pose strategically, the little vixens, I spent some time taking photos of them with my film camera, and then switching to digital for one or two for the weblog.

The late sun is that unique green-gold of this area, and it highlighted the purple and yellow flowers, green grasses, and blue skies — with bright orange butterflies, Monarch and otherwise. There was considerable activity around one bunch of yellow flowers, and as I focused in with my telephoto lens, I could see a swarm of honey bees vying with the butterflies for nector. Normally I’m cautious around bees, but today I knew without hesitation that I was at no risk for being stung.

busyflower.jpg

Later by the lake I met up with an older man and several young girls, all with butterfly nets. Chatting with the friendly bunch, I found that they were part of Monarch Watch, a group that tags Monarch butterflies in order to track the creatures migratory patterns.

The young ladies were wonderfully gentle with the creatures and when I asked questions they gathered around, smiles as warm as the sun, as each tried to answer my questions in a rush. They let me hold one of the butterflies, and showed me the tiny tags, and between them and their escort, the enthusiast father of one of the budding scientists, I learned all about the program, as well as Monarchs. Five generations of Monarchs have been tracked and tagged from this area to Mexico I was proudly told.

As I reluctantly moved on to the lake to take some final photos, I could hear the group finishing up their work; laughing, gentle boasts of number of butterflies tagged, excitement in their voices as they wondered if any of theirs will be found in the select stand of trees on that small bit of land in Mexico that is the ultimate destination of the colorful gossamer wings.

youngscientists.jpg

Categories
Photography Weather

Burning Croft and Indiana Bird

Recovered from the Wayback Machine.

Isabel is churning her way closer to landfall in North Caroline, and my crossed fingers and good vibes go out to all the people I know in her path. I hope the worst you all suffer is a little power outage, giving you a nice little break from your computer. Stay off the roads, stay out of the water, and watch your heads. I suggest books and junk food.

In the beginning of the week, I actually planned a trip out to hurricane alley to see Isabel up close and personal. My plan was to stay in Virginia and then drive down the coast where possible and catch the storm coming in. I wanted to see if I could capture some photos of Isabel for my portfolio, something that might stand out a bit and open a few doors. If you think it’s difficult gaining an entry into the world of professional writing, it’s even more difficult establishing bona fides for your photography. Most folks won’t even touch you if you haven’t published previously. And weblogs don’t count.

What changed my plans was getting a call from the motel I was going to stay at, canceling the reservation. I could have tried elsewhere, but by that time I was starting to come to my senses. Who the hell did I think I was? A female Indiana Jones?

I could see myself heading into unfamiliar territory in the midst of a deadly storm with my little bitty lightweight sedan, and either plowing into a flooded road, getting hit by a falling tree or other flying objects, or running into road blocks and pissing off the local constabulary. The folks there have a tough enough job helping out the people who live there without having to waste time on rescuing a middle-aged Laura Croft. Instead of being out in it getting a great photo, I’d most likely be at the motel or some shelter somewhere, sitting in the dark listening to the storm by the light of a flashlight.

Do you ever get these little brainstorms that leave you hitting your head going “Gah! What was I thinking?” What was I thinking?

At this moment, instead of being on the road driving to the coast I’m writing this, and putting more photo albums online, using a new approach I devised for the Mt Faux PhotoBlogs. I’m also thinking about joining the Pirate Talk day on Friday because it sounds like fun, and when was the last time I did something just for fun? Tomorrow I’ll write a bit more on a story I hope to interest a publication in buying (waiting ten weeks to hear will they or won’t they), and work on a possible money making idea because someday I have to make some money from all this writing and picture taking, or give it up as a hobby pure and simple, and apply for that job at Wal-Mart.

I’m in the mood for a bit of coding, too, which is getting rarer and rarer for me lately. I’ll be damned, maybe something in the For Poets series, too.

I’m glad I didn’t go see Isabel and add to the problems in the area, but there’s still a small part of me that’s disappointed that I backed out – the part that’s game for an Adventure. Not adventure, such as hiking the hills of Missouri or writing to a weblog or working on a piece of software or taking photos, but Adventure, with a capital ‘A’.

‘A’, as in Alive.

isabel.jpg

Categories
Critters Legal, Laws, and Regs

Will first horse meat plant open September 23

update

Looking through the Decision Document, given as an attachment to the court filing mentioned earlier, I found that the wastewater treatment plant that the USDA based its environmental review on is located in Gallatin, Tennessee, not Gallatin, Missouri.

Oopsie.

Earlier

Last Friday, the USDA filed a motion in the Front Range Equine Rescue et al v. Vilsack et al federal lawsuit to add Rains Natural Meats from Gallatin, Missouri, to the Temporary Restraining Order (TRO). The reason given is that Rains has now met the guidelines for being given a inspection permit, and is demanding the presence of inspectors at the plant by Monday, Sept. 23.

From the court document:

Rains Natural Meats has informed FSIS that it is ready to begin operations, and has requested inspectors at its facility in Gallatin, Missouri, no later than September 23, 2013. Because FSIS is required, as a matter of law, to provide inspectors for these operations, see 21 U.S.C. § 603(a), FSIS must do so, in the absence of an amendment to the Court’s temporary restraining order, as specified above. Federal Defendants have advised Plaintiffs and Defendant-Intervenor Rains Natural Meats, through counsel of record, of Federal Defendants’ positions on the issues discussed in this Notice and that Federal Defendants intended to file this Notice.

A Missouri state judge has issued an order prohibiting the Missouri Department of Resources (DNR) from giving Rains Natural Meats a wastewater discharge permit because of the strong possibility of equine drug residue that can contaminate both land and water. However, according to the attachment provided with the USDA filing, it would seem that Rains has found a way around this injunction by contracting with a rendering plant and the City of Gallatin to use their facilities to handle solid and liquid waste:

Following section 401(a) of the Clean Water Act (33 U.S.C. § 1341) (“CWA”), 9 CFR §304.2(c)(1) requires any applicant for federal meat inspection at an establishment where the operations thereof may result in any discharge into navigable waters as defined by the CW A to provide the Administrator, FSIS, with certification, obtained from the State in which the discharge will originate, that there is reasonable assurance that said operations will be conducted in a manner that will not violate the applicable water quality standards. On September 3, 2013, Mr. Rains provided the Administrator, FSIS, with an attestation that equine slaughter operations at Rains Natural Meats will not result in any discharge into any navigable waters as define by CW A. Mr. Rains also provided the Administrator, FSIS, with copies of letters from Darling International Inc., a rendering company, and the City of Gallatin agreeing to dispose of Rains Natural Meats’ liquid and solid waste.

Darling International Inc is in Iowa, and not impacted by a Missouri court order. The City of Gallatin’s wastewater treatment system already has a permit, and presumably would not be impacted by the Missouri Judge’s order. According to MO-G822, which is the general permit Rains applied for, a plant would be exempt if it discharged wastewater into an existing sewer system:

Facilities that are of the types listed above and do not discharge into a public sewer system will need to either obtain this General Operating Permit or a site-specific permit. [emph. added]

Again returning to the USDA attachment:

Rains Natural Meats’ disposal of wastewater is governed by Missouri’s Clean Water Law (Mo. Rev. Stat. 640.006 et seq.). In accordance with the Clean Water Law, Rains Natural Meats will discharge its wastewater into the City of Gallatin’s wastewater collection system which consists of over 191 miles of sanitary sewer lines and 22 sanitary sewer pumping stations. 14 This system will transport water from Rains Natural Meats to the Gallatin Wastewater Treatment Plant for processing and eventual discharge of a high quality effluent back into Old Hickory Lake.

As of this morning, Judge Armijo has not modified the TRO in the Front Range Equine Rescue federal case. I have asked the attorney representing the animal welfare groups in the Missouri state case, Stephen Jeffery, for confirmation or correction, and will post an update, accordingly. I’ll also post an update if Judge Armijo modifies the TRO to include Rains.