I just published the second part of the essay on comments at Many-to-Many:
When I chastised the other person, when I suggested how they should change their interaction and behavior, we were no longer peers discussing a volatile subject – I had assumed a parental role, trying to force a child role on the other person. And, in some ways, Sam assumed a parental role when he chastised me.
I hope you also take a moment to read what others have written on this subject by following the trackbacks attached to my earlier posting, and those who have trackbacked to Sam’s postings. There are many eloquent and thoughtful arguments on what is not an easy issue.